In a Toilet for the Disabled

August 12, 2005 12:01 AM

Sarcomical mentioned this:

…that one should NEVER poop at someone else’s house, unless you are there for more than 2 days…in that case one poop is acceptable, and if you must poop more (as many people do), do it when you go out (e.g. at a Costco, restaurant, or at the mall), because EW.

However, I have a problem with that. I could never feel at ease sitting on a throne other than my own. I am too conscious about the sounds or smells that I’d emit. I also tend to clamp up when I hear someone approaching or if there are other ppl in the toilets with me.

I’m a daily regular but on some days it may happen at a random time of the day. Yesterday was one of those days and I was still in the office. Shite, indeed. This is not good, I thought. Then it hit me – I shall use the toilet for the disabled. Brilliant!

I walked around the place non-chalantly checking to see if there were any disabled persons in the vicinity. None in sight. Sweet! I bolted into the toilet and locked the door. Phew. Other than almost falling into the toilet because of the raised seat, it was a most pleasant experience. One cannot discount the usefulness of the handle on the wall next to the toilet for when you need to *push* a little harder. And most of all, it’s cleaner than the regular toilets.

Once I’ve done my deed, I stood with my ear on the door. The Mission Impossible theme was playing in my head. I was listening for ppl walking by. I didn’t want anyone to see me coming out. Just in case though, I had an answer all worked out : “I am claustrophobic – it’s roomier in there.” Listening, waiting … then … Run Forrest run! Walking quickly, hands touching my face and fixing my hair self-consciously – I was looking super guilty all the way. I made it back to my desk without anyone the wiser. Phew. Again.

Hmmm, maybe it’s about time I supplement my fibre intake. Or conquer this irrational fear of doing a no. 2 outside the house.

12 thoughts on “In a Toilet for the Disabled

  1. ~*Starryluvly*~

    Another poo person?? lol.

    I have no worried about doing number 2s outside, but I get a bit paranoid too hearing people in the loo. If any sound effects ensue, I wait until they leave before I get out. Heh. Malu lah.

    Yeah, the disabled toilets are quite nice to use – provided there are no disabled people waiting to use it themselves. lol. If you’re ever in the Claremont/Stirling Highway area, the Dewsons on Stirling Highway has only one toilet, and it’s a disabled one. Score!

  2. mooiness

    cherry: wahahhaha…that’s a good one! Pooiness. Cool cool – use it from now on! 😀

    starry: Yeahlah the sounds….I’m glad u got what I meant. Hahah you actually scoped out the toilets to use in public!? You are steady loh! Hahahhah…..

  3. ~*Starryluvly*~

    I didn’t scope out toilets on purpose lah!! I just happen to go to the Dewsons along Stirling Highway on a fairly regular basis. And once, I was busting and asked if they had a loo… and they did! So I went lor!! It’s next to the deli section. ;p

  4. Sarcomical

    in fact, i think i was being quite gracious with the poop thing. meaning one in my house if you don’t live here. because not only do I not like doing it in other people’s houses (i can’t poop on vacation), i don’t want anyone ELSE doing it at mine. iiiieeeew.

  5. mooiness

    sarcomical: Oh my, can’t poop on vacation? Unless if it’s in a hotel room right? I’m just thinking about your NY trip now. 🙂

    Heh about other ppl doing in our homes, it’s as if our sh*t is somehow better than theirs. Hah!

  6. Pingback: Mooiness! » Guilty of gawking

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