Sarcomical mentioned this:
…that one should NEVER poop at someone else’s house, unless you are there for more than 2 days…in that case one poop is acceptable, and if you must poop more (as many people do), do it when you go out (e.g. at a Costco, restaurant, or at the mall), because EW.
However, I have a problem with that. I could never feel at ease sitting on a throne other than my own. I am too conscious about the sounds or smells that I’d emit. I also tend to clamp up when I hear someone approaching or if there are other ppl in the toilets with me.
I’m a daily regular but on some days it may happen at a random time of the day. Yesterday was one of those days and I was still in the office. Shite, indeed. This is not good, I thought. Then it hit me – I shall use the toilet for the disabled. Brilliant!
I walked around the place non-chalantly checking to see if there were any disabled persons in the vicinity. None in sight. Sweet! I bolted into the toilet and locked the door. Phew. Other than almost falling into the toilet because of the raised seat, it was a most pleasant experience. One cannot discount the usefulness of the handle on the wall next to the toilet for when you need to *push* a little harder. And most of all, it’s cleaner than the regular toilets.
Once I’ve done my deed, I stood with my ear on the door. The Mission Impossible theme was playing in my head. I was listening for ppl walking by. I didn’t want anyone to see me coming out. Just in case though, I had an answer all worked out : “I am claustrophobic – it’s roomier in there.” Listening, waiting … then … Run Forrest run! Walking quickly, hands touching my face and fixing my hair self-consciously – I was looking super guilty all the way. I made it back to my desk without anyone the wiser. Phew. Again.
Hmmm, maybe it’s about time I supplement my fibre intake. Or conquer this irrational fear of doing a no. 2 outside the house.