One of my mom’s sisters and her husband is currently visiting from KL. Last night, my parents, another one of mom’s sisters and her husband, the visitors plus me had dinner at a Chinese restaurant.
Because I’m the only “kid” on the table, the conversation inevitably veered towards my marital status (not married) and why I’m so choosy. I said, “No lah, where got choosy. Standards very low already!” Then I suddenly thought “why cannot be choosy, marriage is forever one leh!” I just don’t believe in getting married for the sake of getting married and then ending up hating and divorcing each other.
After a while of talking about me, the “adults” soon started talking about how it was like when they were young. Can I just say it now – they are so much more romantic than the current generation. Really put us to shame. One of the uncles on the table wrote my aunty once every week whilst being away in Australia studying, even though she may just reply him sporadically. Another would save up money for 2 weeks so that he can hire a car for one night to take my other aunty out dancing.
Then there’s the nobility and honour. The same uncle that saved up to hire the car, didn’t want to give it up to some pai-kia who wanted to hire the car as well and got beaten up for it. My mom gave up a boyfriend she had really loved because his ex-girlfriend threatened suicide if he didn’t go back to her. He couldn’t choose so mom made the decision for him by leaving. Man, it was all so dramatic. Like scenes from a soap opera.
Plus they believe in being married for life too. And divorce is not an option that they’d take lightly unlike ppl now. They believe in working things out and sticking it through.
Nowadays where got like that one?! We are all creatures of instant gratification. Guys who chase after girls are more than likely to have an attitude of ai-lai-mai-suak (no? f**k it then!). I have that attitude. I don’t have patience and I don’t believe in persistence. Maybe that’s why I’m single.
Not that it didn’t happen before but it is more prevalent now that financial aspects as much as love (sometimes more) will determine if a girl will agree to marriage. Go ask your mother if your dad’s income at the time factored more than anything else and I bet that the answer would be in the negative.
And the stigma to being divorced is now long gone. If problems occur, ppl are no longer willing to stick it out. What for? “Life is short and I’m looking out for myself” is what ppl’d say. In my circle of friends, I know of 3 divorced couples. The whole attitude can be summed up thus:
Marry? Ok! Breakup? Ok! Divorce? Ok! Marry again? Ok!
Did this all come about due to our faster pace of life? When did love become so disposable and recyclable?