Dude, I admire where you were going with it and what you had in mind but … it just doesn’t work. Get it redone and don’t go back to the same hairstylist. Blonde stripes (Tiger mah!) would have worked better than patches – from far it looks like your hair has fallen out in clumps.
But but but, when you have a hot Swedish woman as your wife who are we to give you styling advice?