Of marriageable age

September 27, 2005 12:01 AM

It just recently dawned on me that my dad married my mom when he was 31 – my age this year. And it further dawned on me that he became a father to me when he was 32 – one year from now. As I reflected on this I began to realise that I’m no where near having the right mentality to marry and be a father.

I’m a Late Bloomer. I know it, I’m not ashamed of it and I’m not in a rush. But I know they’d like to see me marry, and settle down and produce them some grandchildren. Just to add a little pressure onto myself, my dad’s the first son of his family, I’m his first son and I’m also the first grandchild with the family name. Which means I’m meant to produce an heir to the family name. Pressure.

Because of *all* that, a lot of conversations would be had with my parents on the topic of finding a wife. Here are some samples.

Mom: How about so-and-so’s daughter?
Me: Cannot lah, she’s too Christian.
Mom: What’s wrong with Christians?
Me: First of all, Christians prefer other Christians. I’m not becoming one just to get a wife. Second, staunch Christians don’t party – I don’t think she’s even been in a club.
Mom: How you know they don’t party? You take her clubbing and see lah.
Me: Har?! Cannot lah!
Mom: You never try, how you know?
Me: She’s so kwai. She definitely wouldn’t like it. It’s not just clubbing lah – she doesn’t look like the sociable type.
Mom: No wonder you no girlfriend. Too kwai also cannot. Sociable got use meh? So high standards for what? You think you damn in demand ah? Anyway, why must you club so much?
Me: … *bruises all over*

Dad is much simpler. He’d either point out girls that he thinks are pretty to me or he offers shallow critiques to the ones that I point out to him.

Nice body.
Nice face, so-so body.
Like “prawn” like that. (direct translation of Hokkien slang for ugly face. I’ve always wondered – what do prawns have to do with female faces?)
Aiyor, lu eh bak jiu tak stamp ah? (Hokkien slang literally meaning, “Have you got a stamp covering your eye?”)
So flat, might as well marry a boy.
Wah that one will crush you.

Mom, all my high standards I got from dad – and he picked you. So they are good standards to live by right? Wahahaha….

This post is partly inspired by my conversation with Mili and how her dad said things like, “How to marry you off like that?” and when she got engaged, “That guy don’t know how to choose wife.” Hah!

14 thoughts on “Of marriageable age

  1. sourrain

    wahahaha..you really blogged it out!I love that christian bit- not that I have ANYTHING against them ok! All my best mates are christians.

    As for daddy ooi…Wahlau, So flat might as well marry a boy!!

    Ah well, pressure was on me when I turned 23 as well,starry. More of the fact that they were afraid of my spiralling clubber lifestyle.

    And I still have my clubber lifestyle..this is why “That guy dont know how to choose wife”

    Padahal that guy’s more of a clubber than me.Face like angel,club like devil.

    The story of my life. Do also die, don’t do also die.Stand also die, sleep also die.Party on then.

  2. mooiness

    starry: I must admit the pressure is higher on girls to get married sooner. “30” seems to the psychological ceiling. My pressure is to produce an heir – that’s it. 😛

    sourrian: Ahahaha…..Party on dudes! Or dudettes….

  3. ~*Starryluvly*~

    sourrain: I don’t even have a clubbing lifestyle, and already they’re worried! And just like you, my papa actually told Bruce to his face that he hopes everything works out between us (aka, I hope you get married and provide me with a grandchild to bounce on my aging lap). If only daddy knew just how “decent” bruce is.

    mooi: oi! Having an heir is part of my pressure too ok?? I bet you, the second I get married, everyone will start badgering me about baby starries. Although, I’m not sure the world is ready for my offspring. heh.

    That said, you could always produce offspring with someone… without marrying them. heh.

  4. mooiness

    the v.u.: wah lau I thought I was late bloomer … you got me beat. I think your parents worry that a rship may distract from your studies.

    Happy in love – forget to study; break up – too sad to study. Hahah!

    But in the end, it’s how you feel yourself also. Don’t go have a gf just so that you can say that you have a gf. On the other hand, if you like someone don’t be afraid to venture for something more. Live a little. 🙂

  5. ryu_10_3

    stick to your instincts and keep the flag flying for bachelorhood. Don’t cave in to family pressure. most of the time its because your aunties don’t have anything to talk to you about, so they just nag you.

  6. Julzies

    You’ve got an interesting blog…This definitely will make it to my list of must-read blogs…

    I’m ALREADY bugged by aunties about when I’m gonna get married…

    And I’m all of 23.

    Too strange…

  7. Anne

    about the prawn thing… the reason ugly girls with nice bodies are called prawns is because when you have prawns, you get/eat the body and throw away the head. 🙂 hahaha


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