I got a mail from a reader in November. She said she enjoyed reading my blog and had asked me to help her set hers up. We started talking online and got on quite well.
Gradually I found out that she has a very pessimistic outlook on life. She is lonely she said, even though she’s got family and friends. She said that she’s given up hope on finding someone to love. To be shallow, I think that she is pretty and have told her so. I couldn’t understand why she thinks that the right guy would not come along later.
After I came back from my holiday we chatted once. This was when I found out that she had a terminal illness. I also found out that it needn’t be terminal had she sought treatment when she found out a year ago.
I asked her, “Why didn’t you listen to the doctor and have the treatment?” She said she’s given up on life because there’s nothing to look forward to. And that she will just let nature take its course. I asked her what was it exactly that’s making her wanting to give up just like that? She couldn’t answer me.
I told her that she’s got shelter, food and she’s got her family. She can’t possibly give up on life just because she can’t find love? She said she’s had a hard life, and had bad luck with love and that I don’t understand. She’s right, I really don’t. The bad stuff was in the past, why let it stop you from living now?
I conclude that she may be suffering from depression. The kind of depression caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain rather than any specific reason. It is a disease. In this instance, compounded by her perceived “bad luck”. I asked her about therapy and she’s said she’s been through it too. She no longer wants to continue that either.
I was at a lost. The only thing I could say was, “Have you arranged everything that’s neccesary, and do your parents know your intentions?” She said, “Yes”. Somewhere along those lines, we ended our chat that night.
I don’t know how long we may continue our chats. I would imagine that one day after not seeing her online for a long time, I will conclude that’s she no longer in this world. I will be saddened of course, purely because her death would be unnecessary.
All of us have one life to live. When you are not poor or starving, when you have shelter and loved ones around you, and when you are not living in a desolate or dangerous place, you’ve got it good – way more than the millions that are less fortunate on this planet.
There’s really no reason for you to give up on life.
If you are depressed for no reason, it’s a sickness and you can get help for it. Nothing is more precious than the one life that you are given.
You only have one life to live, so live it well. Be happy, and help others be happy too.