Taken at Dad’s birthday 2005
My parents are not the affectionate kind. Nor do they really talk much to each other. I mean really talk. Most of the times, it’s either to ask the other to do something or it’s an argument. It wasn’t always like this. I could still remember seeing my parents kiss each other before they leave for work each day. And also the conversations at the dinner table when my brother and I were little kids.
So what happened? I don’t know. The fact that they haven’t divorced yet is amazing enough. Sometimes their arguments would be so intense with the both of them yelling over each other’s voices, I’d get so frustrated and I’d swear at them to “fucking shut up!”
And it works. Heh. Purely because of the shock factor. Then they’d quieten down a bit and stew over it in their little corners of the house. Dad in front of the TV or computer, and mom in the kitchen.
I’d say that over the years, instead of appreciating each other more, they’d just learnt to tolerate each other more. Which obviously isn’t the best. And sometimes that tolerance has its limits.
Where’s the kids in this picture? Well my brother talks a lot with my mother because he’s working with her at the restaurant. After work though, he’s usually out and even when he’s in, he’s in front of the TV or computer – him and my father are quite alike! Even when dad and him are watching the same program, they don’t talk so much. Except maybe about the FA Cup and the English Premier League which they both love.
It is usually left to me to talk to them both, at the same time. The only common thing between my parents now is that they both watch the same TV shows: all the Law and Order and CSI shows, Desperate Housewives, Lost and Prison Break. Incidentally, those are my favourite shows too.
It’d be the three of us on the couch most weeknights when I go over for dinner. TV shows is the “glue”, while I faciliate the conversations. If it’s not about the shows, I’d tell them about my personal life and my friends, show them my blog and get their opinions on stuff. It is then that I’d truly see them converse and it gives me a little joy everytime that that happens.
So I’ve learnt to accept the fact that they probably won’t revert back to the way they were when they were newly weds or even when we were kids. Ppl change and that’s understandable. If it requires me to encourage conversation between the two of them, then I’m happy to do it.
There’s nothing better than to bring joy into another person’s life, even for brief moments at a time.