“Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.”
Once people pair off, naturally their activities start to revolve more around themselves and other couples. Not that they set out to be mean to us singles of course, but it grates. Activities like hanging out with other couples exclusively. Having dinner in places where you can get two-for-one, except the poor single person who has to pay full price. Going on road trips where the single person have to fork out more for a room because they are not sharing. You get the gist.
I’ve been there many times and I’ve done that many times. And I don’t feel like being the proverbial cat among the pigeons anymore. Is this a reason why many couples don’t seem to have that many single friends? I mean, not that I expect you all to find me a girlfriend but it’s not hard to understand why I haven’t met anyone new through you guys in ages.
Don’t get me wrong, I like happy couples. I feel joy at weddings. That’s not a lie. But outside of a wedding, I don’t want to be in a room full of couples. One couple I can stand, two max. Anymore than that and I’m not going to that dinner thing you just organised.
Monica: Hey, Phoebe, guess what I’m thinking.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. How it’s been so long since you’ve had sex and wondering if they’ve changed it?
Monica: No, only now that’s what I’m thinking.
It’s worse if the couples all have kids or are having kids – conversation about sex to your friend’s pregnant wife is always tricky! Even more tricky when there are kids running around calling you “Uncle Marcus”.
But I do like kids. I adore all my younger cousins especially my aunty Cass’s kids – Reucas’s younger brothers. However, in a room already filled with couples they serve as amplifiers of my single condition and a constant reminder that I should really be out sowing my seeds somewhere. And I just don’t need that.
“Uh uh, no. Condoms are for single men. The day we got engaged, I said goodbye to the condom forever.”
I’m ok with singlehood and I don’t like being the subject of pity, as if I’m missing out on something fantastic. I don’t need you to fix me up with anyone. Porn will do me fine physically, and emotionally? I’m rock solid.
Jeff: You know what having a girlfriend is like? Having a girlfriend is like legalized sex.
Steve: Jeff, sex is legal.
Jeff: You know what I mean, when I have sex with Julia, it’s just so… realistic.
Treat me as a full person, and not something “half-filled”. Single people are people too. And by the way? Get a room. 😉