From: The Single Guy (TSG)
To: Everyone who’d invite TSG to house-warmings, baby-showers, dinner parties, and assorted soirees.
Henceforth, TSG will be placing an upper limit on the number of couples present at a party that he will attend. That upper limit is two. If for any reason that the upper limit cannot be adhere to, then the following arrangement is acceptable:
- all attending couples shall bring along a single female, that is a female with no significant other (SO). Ages 18-35 only. MILFs will be considered if they are hot.
On no occasion shall a female guest who has a SO, attend any functions alone. This is to avoid giving TSG false hope whilst chatting up with her, only to discover later that she is not available. If her SO cannot attend, then she will bring a single female to accompany her. No exceptions are allowed unless she’s on the brink of breaking up with her SO. In which case, she will have to present her story to TSG prior to entry. TSG will make his judgement on a case-by-case basis. Wearing little and smelling good will improve her chances of getting in.
This is not about your houses, your babies, your birthdays or whatever anniversaries that you may be celebrating. It is about catering to TSG and making him feel welcomed and comfortable. In return, TSG will liven up the party by breaking up the monotony of couple-talk, or worse, baby-talk. He will also encourage the consumption of alcohol to lubricate social interactions further. He will make you feel young again.
TSG has a hectic schedule which revolves around himself. He’s a busy man. Appointments are recommended to avoid missing out on him gracing your shindigs with his presence. Remember, every minute that TSG spents at your party is time taken away from him actually meeting and dating a hot nubile female. So the motto is: make it worth his time.