To my female friends who have boyfriends

June 25, 2006 12:14 PM

Hey you know, you are my friends and I love you for it. You whinge about your boyfriends to me from time to time and that’s ok because you buy me food and drinks for my troubles. But there’s a certain limit to my obligations to you as a mere friend.

  1. Don’t sulk when I can’t see you whenever your boyfriend is not available and you feel bored. Don’t say that I’m neglecting you – that’s a question for your boyfriend and not me.
  2. Don’t whine that we never do anything that you want to do, when you announce at the last minute that you want to join the rest of us for a night out and expect us to change our plans for you. Your boyfriend is the one who has to put up with this because he’s the one who gets the poontang.
  3. Don’t suddenly feel the need to introduce girls to me just because you are now happily attached. You don’t owe anything to me and please don’t feel pity for me because I wouldn’t appreciate it.
  4. Don’t expect me to be buddies with your boyfriend just because he’s your boyfriend. Hey, you dig him. I get it. It doesn’t mean that I have to like him. Don’t force us to socialise.

I think that’s it for now. Now if you will excuse me, I’m gonna do whatever I want whenever I want because I’m free and single innit?

[tags]single life[/tags]

11 thoughts on “To my female friends who have boyfriends

  1. Otto

    Agree for all parts, including the poontang bit. Don’t see any reason why any boy should put up with any girl if he hasn’t shagged her.

    And don’t worry. If we ever meet and you become my MiniBoyFriend, I will never make you socialise with Alex. Where possible, keep boyfriend and MiniBoyFriends at separate postcodes. The last time Alex went out with R (my favourite MiniBoyFriend) they went to a feng-tau joint and I had to pick them up at 5 a.m. because they could not find the โ€˜exitโ€ sign.

    Now would you like a shot of vodka?

  2. koyuuken

    wah… seems like you having trouble with your friends… since you announced and told in a proper way thru this post. I guess they should be understanding and started to care about your feelings… ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Ronnie

    sometimes when a person writes an article like this, it’s not as much as a message to the supposed ‘target’ (ie. female friends), but more so towards the author himself. Perhaps the author is somewhat frustrated with himself & wonders why he is being treated as a ‘Beta’ male friend the moment she has found an ‘Alpha’ bf. So, he considers that he has probably been inviting the wrong behaviour & attracting the wrong kind of attention from his female friends. He realises that there’s probably something about him that perhaps he has been sending the wrong signal. So, by writing like this, one may be making a covenant with himself to be firmly aware of how he has been treated & that it’s time to make a clear stand that he is “no spare tyre”, or a convenience store which someone can go to when the shops are closed.

  4. simplysiti


    Patience does have its limits afterall.

    But I like the “Your boyfriend is the one who has to put up with this because heโ€™s the one who gets the poontang” bit. Haha.

    Pure genius. I wish I can say that to some of my galfrens.

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