Double Happiness


July 31, 2006 6:59 PM
Chinese Wedding

Or in this case double the double-happiness. I just found out today that two of my cousins on my mother’s side will be getting married in the first quarter of next year. The first thought that came into my head was, “Man, it’s gonna be hectic from November on.”

  • Mid-November: Singapore
  • late December – early January: usual end of year trip to Singapore, KL and Penang
  • Mid-January – wedding #1 in Sydney
  • Mid-March – wedding #2 here in Perth

The second thought that followed was about the topic of conversations that I’m definitely going to be having with everyone at the weddings especially the uncles and aunties. I’m one of four cousins who are in the ages of 31-32 this year. Two of those cousins are the ones who will be getting married. Another is my cousin Yvonne who has been going out with her boyfriend for 3 years now.

When is your turn?
No girlfriend yet?!
Aiyah, don’t be so choosy lah!
You need our help or not?
Uncle/Auntie know a lot of single girls.
Very kwai ones. Pretty or not? Aiyah, don’t be so choosy lah!
Pretty doesn’t mean good wife you know!?
Can cook and clean more important!
Next wedding is yours ok!?

I know all my aunties and uncles mean well though. Then there will be one or two relatives who’d be more liberal and enlightened but will still try to reverse psycho me.

You are a man, so it’s ok.
Concentrate on your career.
Next time got money, the women will come to you.

The Wedding Banquet

The end goal is still to get married. Thus I think my cousin Yvonne may be under more pressure than I am. Society being the way it is, or rather Chinese culture being the way it is, although she’s a successful dentist she’s still a woman. And she’s expected to be married by now, especially since she and her boyfriend have been together for 3 years.

However, having known 4 divorced couples in my social circle I am not as enamoured by the idea of marriage. Not unless I really know that she is the one. And I don’t see myself as less of a person if I don’t get married, even if more traditional types don’t think the same.

I’m still going to be happy for my cousins though because they are lucky enough to have found their ones. Me? I’m going to do this on my own schedule. Or not.

[tags]single life, marriage[/tags]

14 thoughts on “Double Happiness

  1. sourrain

    Like I told you, just tell them that you don’t want to get married because you too greedy,therefore still expecting angpows every year.You will never get married ever.That shut my relatives up.

    Don’t get married because it is:
    a)expected by your relatives
    b)your mother scolding you
    c)her brother threatening you
    d)next step in human evolution
    e)only reason she’ll sleep with you
    f)you want examples of mini-me to rule the world

    Seeing that 50% of English marriages end in divorce, I have seen many classic examples of what the above would do to you.And I salute Moo’s courage in slashing all those when-are-you-getting-married aunties and uncles.

    Reply
  2. mooiness Post author

    The angpow thing *is* the reason they are pushing for marriage. One less person to pay mah. 😉

    Those rules/examples you listed, you can be sure that I’m DEFINITELY not gonna marry for those. I’m mentally sound, self-assured and confident enough to not be manipulated into a bad life decision.

    Reply
  3. Irene

    heh yeah i agree with sourrain completely. and it’s sad but true that many of my married friends are either facing divorce or other complications within their marriages just because of a decision made hastily.

    do hope that you’ll find a partner to share your life with eventually, but should you remain a bachelor, well, as long as you’re happy, why not?

    you just stick to your principles and ideals aye.

    Reply
  4. mooiness Post author

    Irene: a lot of hurt can be caused by the need to marry just “because”. Even getting married because the girl is pregnant is a really bad idea. You may think you are doing the right thing but that’s not a *real reason* to get married.

    So yeah, I rather be happy and single than married and miserable. 😉

    damion: hahah err since you are a guy and all, I’ll just say, “thanks”. 🙂

    Reply
  5. Rob

    yeah stick to your principals.
    I can reassure you that you are totally right. you gotta be sure that she’s the right one cos you want to spend the rest of your life with her. there’s no shame in being picky.
    don’t give in to those busy-body aunties. after you get married its “when will you have kids/son/more kids/even more kids”. there is always something for them to nag you about so just ignore them and be happy.

    Reply
  6. ront

    any of you ever asked these aunties and uncles why they ask you such questions and keep on nagging you abt it? their answer would probably be ‘because that’s the way it is and how it should be’. Its also because they have nothing else to talk to you abt and when they’re at your age (or even younger), they faced the same nagging from their parents, aunts and uncles. so find some other topic to talk abt and that should keep them busy for a while.

    Reply
  7. sourrain

    Another idea: Sometimes they just enjoy bugging you.

    I remember how they used to bug me, and when I told them I was actually getting hitched, they were like, ” HAH? Really?Hmmm”

    Reply
  8. mooiness Post author

    Lupin: wah lau, in your 20s and already pressured to get married? This is a cliche but I’d suggest being grounded and certain in your career first before getting married. As you’d know, cost of living in Sg is high.

    Rob: hehe definitely spoken by someone with the experience. Congrats on the baby btw! 🙂

    ront: You’ve got a point about it being “the way it has always been”.

    sourrain: hahah, true that. Some of my uncles/aunties are big jokers.

    Reply
  9. girlstar7

    have u heard about that new show ‘yasmin’s getting married’? this chick has given herself 9 weeks to find ‘the one’, and is putting it all out there on a reality TV show! now, I think that is getting just a tad desperate. and odds are, in two years time, they will be divorced!

    Reply
  10. mooiness Post author

    girlstar7: saw the promo, first thought – “this is gonna be a disaster.” 😛 And you are right, I don’t think you can form a long lasting marriage, let alone relationship from a superficial TV show.

    Reply

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