Excuses women make for bad men

August 7, 2006 7:33 PM

I have many female friends and even more female acquiantances. There’s a common thing about women and that is: all of them make excuses for their men at one time or another. Even with the obnoxious behaviour staring them in their faces, they’d still have a way to justify it.

See if you recognise these.

  1. He loves me. Really. He does. Of course he does. That’s just his way of showing it, right?
  2. He can be really nice sometimes. So he can be a real bastard sometimes.
  3. When he’s not like this, he’s very different. Duh!
  4. He used to do a lot of nice things for me. Sing it with me now: but what has he done for you lately!?

Now us men put up with bad behaviour from women for one very obvious reason, “She’s hot and the sex is really good ok!?” But women are more sentimental, they focus on the emotional side of things which is their downfall. They hold on to the good memories, of what their man used to be like. They remember all the good feelings and how happy they were.

Happy or Sad?
Happy or Sad? Your choice.

And women like to think that their men would change. Here’s a reality check:

  • Don’t go into the relationship hoping that he will change. He won’t. What you see is what you get. He may mask it for a while in the beginning but his true behaviour will show up soon enough.
  • If he does change, it’s usually not for the better. And don’t expect him to change back either. The man that you know from when you were lovey dovey is gone.
  • He may change for the better but only if he wants to, and usually because he fears losing you. If he’s abusing your trust in him, then I think that fear no longer exists. And there goes the only bargaining chip you have over him.

If you still want to stay with him, then stop complaining about him to me. You’ve lost the right to.


21 thoughts on “Excuses women make for bad men

  1. girlstar7

    This is an interesting post as I’ve got SO many stories about women who make excuses for bad men! my friends seem to do it all the time, and maybe I’ve even done it myself once or twice… another common thing for women to do is make excuses for guys who aren’t necessarily BAD as such but just aren’t that into them. they think of a million and one reasons why he hasn’t called, hasn’t made the effort etc.
    It’s one thing to be with a guy who’s not a bad guy but may be a bit selfish and doesn’t put much effort into the relationship, but things start to get sad when you see women that can’t escape abusive relationships. I know one girl who is in a two-year relationship with a guy that hits her and has tried to strangle her. she constantly makes excuses for him. ‘but he loves me, he’s really nice sometimes’. sad thing is, now she’s pregnant.. lesson here is, when things start to look bad, GET OUT FAST. and leave with your self-esteem and self-worth in tact.

  2. mooiness Post author

    sourrain: this is more directed at those who complained but yet do nothing. Obviously not you. πŸ˜›

    girlstar7: an abusive relationship would be the extreme example of my point. You can complain but you have to do something about it too. Otherwise you’re just wearing down the good will of those who’d listen to you.

    dreymer: wah like a bible? You look me too up already. But I heard you are out of that kinda situation so congrats to you. πŸ˜‰

  3. jktdo

    All in my favourite book “He’s Just Not That Into You” –> Just recommend the book to your girl friends whenever they complain then try to excuse their boyfriend’s behaviour.

    But it’s funny how men see it so clearly and women don’t. It’s as if women think emotional attachment is more scarce than the diminishing levels of primary sources in this world!

  4. ian

    Haha.. Speaking of Mooi-ness, reminds me of Owen Wilson in “You, Me and Dupree”. It seems like Marcus has found his Mooi-ness long time ago… Where’s your seven different kinds of smoke? LOLz!

  5. mooiness Post author

    sourrain: fwah. I don’t think myself that highly lah! It’s all life experiences, no mystical magic to it. πŸ˜›

    jktdo: haha you know, I haven’t read that book yet seeing as how it’s targetted at women. But yes, men are not hard to understand. Women tend to value a slim hope of love and tenderness above all rationale.

    ian: haven’t watched that yet so don’t know what’s that about the smoke! but yeah I’ve attained my level of mooiness a while back. :mrgreen:

  6. the.mole

    Women has a strange thought process. They see only what they want to see. But they can be cold-blooded lot too. After they are over with those bad men (finally), most of them will usually experience a 180 degree change. No more feeling needy or making excuses for those men. Instead, will feel absolutely nothing for them. Nothing as in NADA. That’s usually when women regain their confidence and also when the same men come crawling back – begging for forgiveness and attention. So any bad men out there – appreciate what you have now before YOU transform these women into cold-blooded women πŸ˜€

  7. Otto

    I agree with Marcus though that women’s downfall often lay in the fact that women think that their love and devotion will change a man’s wayward ways.

    Men will NEVER change. What you see is what you get and often it only goes downhill. Men will only change for one reason – sex and love. Oh that’s two reasons =)

    I’ve seen girlfriends who drag themselves through dirt for the guy they love, only to be crushed when the men do not appreciate their efforts. When it comes to love, women should approach it with their heads instead of their hearts.

    Men are odd creatures, I think. You should always be just slightly out of reach. Men find that quite attractive.

  8. mooiness Post author

    the.mole / dreymer: as long as the cold blooded part is directed at the men who’ve wronged them/you. They deserve it afterall. Please be kind to the rest of us. :mrgreen:

    Otto: “women should approach it with their heads instead of their hearts”. Erm except most women don’t. πŸ˜‰

    As for being out of reach, I have to say that’s also true. We are suckers for a challenge. And when we flame out, we wonder why it can’t just fall onto our laps. Hahah!

  9. whingyfemale

    When I was single,I had a big red book that I read like a bible.As in every night.

    It is called the art of seduction.

    Lesson one: Always seem to be unattainable -but pull back when you see the men burn out
    Lesson two: Be mysterious
    Lesson three: Be independent, so when you fall like a damsel in distress, he wants to be the superman

    I thought it was a godsend to me. All else fails, “You’re not that into him either” is good:)

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  11. Rachel

    we share the same pragmatism when it comes to relationships. Life is too short really, for nonsense and bullshit… and I have a real acute radar for bullshits. πŸ˜‰

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  13. Kim

    Sometimes the excuses are ways of stalling for time. I think the woman is genuinely confused. She thought this dude liked her… she thought this was going somewhere… then he starts getting cold and she panics… doesn’t want to let go… what did she do wrong… what is happening? Why isn’t he being nice? Is it my fault? Am I not good enough? blah blah blah until she is so confused and freaked out she doesn’t know what is happening. Plus some fear that no one else will love her either.

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