Lately, I’ve been consciously declining invites to gatherings and events where I know I’ll be one of a few, if not the only single person there. Worse still if there are kids involved and everyone attending would be parents, talking to each other about parently things.
Even if there’s a remote possibility of me meeting someone, my reluctance remains. I’m just turned off by the prospect of it all. Am I turning into a snob? Maybe.
Sorry but I just don’t feel like being in a room full of self-satisfied, self-congratulating, and single-pitying couples. I just don’t.
Which is arrogant of me I’m sure. I’m certain that eventually I won’t get any more invites to anything from my paired-off friends. While Dominic Knight laments the loss of single friends to couplehood, and not seeing them anymore:
It’s all downhill from there. Soon they move in together and the default option isn’t going out with friends any more. There are no more hopeful text messages asking if you’re doing anything interesting they could tag along with. And you don’t even include them on group email invitations any more, just to save them the shame of declining.
I *am glad* that I don’t see them as often anymore once they have become a couple. I just can’t think in “couple” frequency which is a basic requirement to enjoy oneself at those gatherings. I’m not desperate to be tied down, nor am I thinking of having kids anytime soon. I live on my own timetable and my money is mine to spend however I wish to.
Meanwhile the urgings from mom for me to get married become louder and louder, and lately she has been giving me the following gems of advice.
“Don’t go out with Simon all the time. Girls might think that you are gay and then stay away. Don’t go out so much with your female friends either because other girls will feel insecure that you are always around girls.”
She says that it’s not only the grandkids that she is yearning for, but she’s concerned that I might become old and alone one day. I have thought about that too, but some part of my brain still hasn’t been switched on yet I think. The part of it that says that I must be part of a couple otherwise I’m doomed in my old age. Being the optimist, I would like to think that medicine would advance sufficiently to keep my parents alive long enough to see me become a husband to a woman and maybe a father to a child.
But would it be something I want to do purely for myself, or would it be to not let them worry about me? Hmm, it’s all very vague to me still.