because he snagged a white woman
Got your attention? The title is taken from Sam de Brito’s post on his SMH blog “All Men Are Liars“.
With such a provocative title, his post was bound to get a load of comments. At last count, there were 425, mostly from Asian males and Anglo females as expected. It took me an hour to wade through the first 300 or so. If you want to go and read the post and the comments first, go ahead. We’ll wait for you.
The rest of you, follow me …
Let’s get a few facts out of the way to set the mood right for this post:
- Yes, I know Asian-Australians are “Aussies” too but in this context, it will mean its traditional connotation of white Anglo-Saxons. And Asian will mean “East Asian” or yellow-skinned Asians, and yes I know Asia is a big place with many different-coloured people.
- I’ve never dated an Aussie girl but I would like to. Having said that, I don’t resent the fact that it’s harder for me as an Asian guy to date a white girl, than it is for an Asian girl to date a white man.
- And generally, I don’t “aim” for Aussie, Asian or whatever. I do aim for a nice and caring person. Date the person, not the race right?
To answer the question in the title, I will explain it from my point of view. To me, there are two big aspects as to why you wouldn’t see that many Asian male and Aussie female pairings: cultural, and physical.
As a Chinese person, I am very family-centric. My family will always come first before anyone else. This thinking guides a lot of my behaviour which some Aussies probably wouldn’t understand. And when there’s no cultural connection, it’s that much harder to make an emotional connection.
However being family-centric is also a reason why I get along with Italians and Greeks, and to a certain extent, the Irish famously. In a way, our families behave very much the same. Unfortunately, all the nice Italian/Greek/Irish girls that I’ve met were never available.
In some of the comments, Anglo girls bemoan that they would like to date an Asian guy but they never get approached by them. Again, this is a cultural thing. Aussie men are more gung-ho and more willing to stick their neck out in a bar or club situation. Make a fool of yourself? Who cares!? However, Asian men don’t want to “lose face”.
Most times I don’t approach a strange girl (any girl, not just Aussies) unless I already know her and there’s a spark. This commenter echoed my sentiments.
I’m a Korean and my girlfriend is Anglo. I would absolutely approach white girls if I got to know one in a work/educational/recreational environment, but to be honest I probably wouldn’t try to pick one up in a bar scene where I would be entering the fray with no idea what she was like, and vice versa.
Why? Well I guess due to the rarity of mixed race couples where the male is Asian and the girl is Anglo, I’ve started to assume that white girls wouldn’t be interested in me, and would bar me from the get go. As I said, if I got to know a white girl first in one of the aforementioned settings and I thought there was a bit of a spark, nothing would stop me from having a go, but I wouldn’t approach one at random in a pub.
Tofuloaf at October 17, 2006 10:40 AM
All women would like their men taller and bigger. Asian men are generally smaller and shorter, sometimes too small or too short for a typical Aussie girl. I’m 5’4″ (164cm) and 60kgs. Therefore, the pool of white women for me to potentially date is that much more limited.
No point crying about it, it’s reality. Just like how most men would prefer a woman with a curvy body, there’s nothing wrong with having physical preferences.
In the comments, there are Anglo women who proclaim that they prefer Caucasian, rather than Asian features in a man. This is the same for Asian women who’d date Anglo men exclusively. Again, it’s a preference rather than a racial thing.
There was also the obligatory mention of penis sizes in the comments. Yes we are smaller, but we can still rock the boat quite well thank you very much.
In general it is true that the majority of Aussie women would date within their own cultural background, but that is true for people of all other cultures in this country. One tends to stick with what one knows and feels comfortable with.
in “The Dragon”
However there are many exceptions like the sons of Bing Lee of the electronics chain in NSW, and prominent Sydney neurosurgeon Charlie Teo. In my family alone, there is one male cousin who’s only ever dated white girls, and another about to marry one.
Personally I don’t think of it along racial or cultural terms at all. It’s all highly superficial and preference-based anyway. Even if the Asian guy is as ocker as they come, that doesn’t necessarily make it easier for him to snag an Aussie girl if she prefers a white fella physically.
So no, I don’t stress too much over how come I don’t get to date a white girl. Instead, I stress over how come I don’t get to date a girl, any girl at all!