Not quite a father, yet


October 23, 2006 6:55 PM

As I was playing with my friends’ 20-month old daughter yesterday, they remarked that I seemed to have a knack with kids. Yes I’m quite good with kids *ahem* but I’m usually best with just the one baby. Two would be my maximum. Anymore than that and I’m out of the room.

Though I must admit it was fun and satisfying seeing a baby smile and laugh at my simplest gestures. It was enlightening also to see that what may be trivial to adults can mean the world to an innocent child. It sure does put things in perspective.

Still, I don’t think myself quite at that stage yet – I’m not ready to procreate and I don’t know if I’ll ever be. It bugs me because I am meant to continue the family line – my dad was the first son, and I’m also the first son AND first grandson with the family name.

I know having a baby is serious business and that I should not have one for the wrong reasons. Nonetheless I feel responsible, and pressure even though my parents has never nagged me about it. My mom has nagged about marriage but neither her nor dad has ever thought to say to me, “You really ought to impregnate someone.”

At this point in time, I can’t even imagine sharing my bed permanently with someone so fatherhood is the furthest thought from my mind. Will I change? Should I change? Do I want to change?

Man, heavy thoughts. Where’s the beer?

13 thoughts on “Not quite a father, yet

  1. sourrain

    At least you are good with kids. I don’t know what to do with them – I look at them,they look at me.And then they cry

    I think it’s the chinese mindset of having a child out of wedlock – wait until you get married – on your wedding day you WILL be nagged to start producing heirs!!

    For now baby steps,yea? Get along with the little monsters first:)

    Reply
  2. haha

    lol ure a good crack up! But yea, on the ball, dont change anythin..chances are even if u did change, itd be forced out of ya and u’d jus spring back into ur old self anyway ..so why push it…these things got to happen naturally..like im sure when you meet ‘the one’ u wanna marry, ur fatherly instincts will prop up as well … so if u have to change anything at this point in time, maybe pimp urself out more, meet more women, increase ur chances of meeting ‘the one’ and the rest should follow suit…

    Reply
  3. girlstar7

    I know exactly how you feel! I’m only 22 but regardless have no maternal instinct whatsoever and am worried that I never will have one! I too am really good with kids but I am better with older children in primary school, and not so good with young babies. All my friends talk about how they want kids and can’t wait to have kids one day but for me that urge is just not there.
    Whenever I think of having kids I think of lack of sleep, lack of sex, screaming babies, pooey nappies, mess everywhere, and no longer having a social life! Not to mention the fact that the idea of being pregnant and as big as a house scares the hell out of me not to mention the pain of labour (at least as a guy you just do the fun bit :P). I mean, if a blood test freaks me out, don’t know how i would handle a 12 hour labour, ouch!
    So yeah, maybe one day I will change my mind, and that maternal instinct will be triggered. but for the mean time, like you, I’m happy living the party life and not having to worry about anyone else!

    Reply
  4. mooiness Post author

    sourrain: you look at them and then they cry? Heheh. You must show me your evil eye sometime.

    haha: you see, I’m even lazy in pimping myself out. Hah. But thanks for the advice!

    ally: har? you only read the first paragraph issit? I said I’m not lah and I don’t know if I’ll ever be.

    herman: no urge there either – to hook up for long term that is.

    JJJ: when the time comes, whenever *that* is.

    girlstar7: yeah I have the same fear of losing all the stuff that I’m enjoying now, but women definitely get it worse as you’ve said. And there’s the safe upper limit that you must have your baby before you turn 40.

    Reply
  5. ian

    Oh coincidence… My granddad, my dad and I are first sons in the family too.

    I have a knack with kids and I used to play with them during family gatherings. But for some unknown reason I began to tone down a lot. And I think my stubble kinda scared them away too…

    Reply
  6. yanZzz

    aiya..
    its times up already.
    u better change ur concept of thinking of owning ur bed all by urself ….
    go look for ur tea pot..
    so tat ur folks can get to drink the tea she pour to them..

    Reply

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