Pick up techniques that ALWAYS work

December 3, 2006 3:03 PM

Captain Caveman

  1. Grab the girl by her arm as she walks past and say, “Hey, howsit going?” Go on. All women love the strong and mysterious type. And most of all, they love being touched randomly.
  2. Grab a girl and give her a pash on her lips. Do it. All women love spontaneity. ALL WOMEN. Bonus points if you grab her arse while at it.
  3. If a girl does not like the above two techniques, try it on the girl next to her. Right away. Spontaneity remember? And all women love men who do not know the word “failure”. Bonus points if the girl is a friend of the girl who’ve just slapped you.
  4. If #1, #2 and #3 gets you nowhere, proceed to slag the girl off with your mates. Loudly. All women love machismo and chauvinism. They love being shown their place in society. They love being called a “bitch” and a “slut”. This is guaranteed to make her suddenly want to be submissive to you. Yes YOU – you Neanderthal you. Growl. Burp. Fart. Scratch.
  5. And remember to always slag off girls who offend your aesthetic sensibilities. This will make you look the discerning type, and thus increase your value in the eyes of other women.

[tags]pick up[/tags]

18 thoughts on “Pick up techniques that ALWAYS work

  1. mooiness Post author

    ct-lattez: erm in a club, it happens more often than you think.

    girlstar7: balls in his mouth?! Ouch. Gruesome. Heh.

    mn: what M said.

    M: what you said.

    ian: of course I’m sure! :mrgreen:

  2. Rob

    I once had a workmate who’s pickup routine was something in the line of “you! you look like you’re up for a shag”. surprisingly after a dozen crash and burns, he’d end up pulling girl and going home with her. some nights he’d pull by his 3rd go. I was always flabbergastered by how such a neanderthal pulling method could work. his crash and burns were fun to watch though.

  3. girlstar7

    When I was 18 I was in a club and a 38 year old guy tried to pick me up. He certainly wasn’t subtle. His pick up line was, ‘you’ve got a great rack and yeah, I’m staring at it. I would love to take you home and fuck your brains out.’ Needless to say, it didn’t work on me. But for every 99 slaps in the face….

  4. mooiness Post author

    girlstar7: hahah oh man … that’s SO blunt. And you gotta be an eternal optimist and have very thick skin to endure 99 slaps just to get the one pick up from it. I never did understand the percentages thing. 😛

    JL: aiyah, I’m being sarcastic lah! Unless you are too. Which makes this very confusing.

  5. ct-lattez

    referring to ur previous comment Moo..
    it happens often in da club?
    well.. never been in a club b4 so i wudn’t kno about it anyway hehe 😛

    but really. if any person did that to me i wud be having the same comment as girlstar7 as well.. and i’m sure the guy will regret ever using those lines hehe

    dunno whether i shud be feelin lucky or unwanted for i never encountered such situation thou 😀

  6. damion

    intimidated to try it out…
    going to prepare a score sheet of how many tight slaps i might get, not to forget the amount of times i will have to ride on the police car… hahaha


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