After a week, that whole thing with John and Lisa starts to make more sense to me now. Not that I accept the reasoning but I’m beginning to understand a bit more why Lisa got mad.
For many women, once they get into a relationship everything else gets pushed down the list in terms of priority. In that scenario, the relationship is their utmost concern. Everything that they do revolves around the relationship. It’s a ladder of important things, and there can only be one at the top.
For some men however, it’s less a ladder than a messy table. The relationship is not the top priority, it’s just one of the priorities. It’s a time management issue and different priorities get the attention at different times.
So in relation to last weekend’s incident, here’s how the above theory is applied. Even when Lisa’s out, she has John in her mind at all times. They are not supposed to spend long amounts of time apart because they are a couple. John made the mistake of promising Lisa that he would go over and see her, even though it may be difficult. In the end, Lisa saw it as a broken promise. It was never about being flexible.
In John’s mind, and for many of us who had been on his side, he’s been a good boy all this time so he deserved his “me time”. And it’s not a big deal because he’s going to see her the next morning, and every morning after that. In Lisa’s point of view, he wasn’t prioritising the relationship. Because if he did, he would have made sure his friend didn’t drink too much, that he didn’t go out till 4am, and that he did make it over to her friend’s place no matter the situation. Phew!
Even though as I’ve theorised, just because he wasn’t prioritising the relationship on the night, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t view it as important. But I’m sure that point is very difficult to make.
As for me? I’m a messy table guy. And I am still looking for my messy table girl. 🙂