Physical attraction – yes, it does matter


March 19, 2007 7:37 PM

Rather unexpectedly, the subject of physical attraction was recently discussed on a site primarily focused on video-game lifestyle and culture.

From Tim at Ctrl+Alt+Delete (emphasis mine):

I feel that for intimate relationships, that physical chemistry, that spark, is needed at the beginning of the relationship. Of course in the long term, personality is what matters most. But I think it’s ignorant to discount the importance of mutual physical attraction, to say that “looks don’t matter”.

Saying that “looks matter” gets you evil glances. People calling you shallow. It’s not saying that a certain type of look is all that matters. It’s not the same as saying “everyone has to look like a super model”. Just that two people’s definitions of attraction need to mesh.

Tim was talking about the reaction to the story arc that he has given one of his comic characters, Lucas. Lucas has been single for a while and decides to use the Internet for dating. Unbeknown to him, another character decides to play a prank on him by setting him up on a date with a plus-size woman.

The strips preceding Tim’s post are the following. Read them in the sequence presented here to get the proper flow.

Excuse Robbery
Between the Lines
Presto Change-O
Why Not

The story is still being played out and I’m really enjoying it. In case you haven’t noticed, I love reading and talking about the dynamics of man-woman relationships.

Echoing Tim’s sentiments above, I’ve said on a few occasions that everyone has physical preferences when it comes to romantic relationships. These preferences include hair, height, body shape, and even skin colour. To get indignant at the necessity of physical attraction would be hypocritical – all of us have preferences about how our ideal mate should look like.

Whether or not these preferences are fulfilled is another matter, and is a source of much angst. 😉

[tags]dating, relationships[/tags]

16 thoughts on “Physical attraction – yes, it does matter

  1. girlstar7

    Yep, I agree, physical attraction DOES matter. Although personality is also very important as that’s what keeps a couple together in the long run.
    Everyone has been in the situation where they meet someone who is good on paper. Intelligent? TIck. Get on really well? TIck. Have a lot in common? Tick. Reasonably attractive? TIck. But there is just SOMETHING missing! No physical attraction, no spark. And there’s no point trying to make a relationship out of it, if you think of them more like a friend. Youll just end up hurting them more in the long-run.
    And why should you settle for anything less than fireworks…??

    Reply
  2. mooiness Post author

    girlstar7: agreed – physical attraction first, then personality to hold it together after. and if it’s for “the rest of our lives” then I don’t think we should settle.

    Reply
  3. Rachel

    i don’t know about other girls… but I am not that into hunky or “cute” guys. From rpevious experience, these are most likely to cheat/ mindfuck/ play games and I am sooo over that shit.

    Priority for me now would be personality and character.

    I think looks play a bigger part for guys? My boyfriend admitted that he was FIRST attracted to my looks and figure, then when he got to know me better, the attraction was complete…

    Men. 😉

    Reply
  4. mooiness Post author

    Rachel: fair enough though the guy still has to pass a minimum “looks” threshold right? Though you are right about men but I think a large part of it is due to biology – men have always been the more visual of the two sexes.

    Reply
  5. Rachel

    Hey. Not to say that my boy isn’t cute. He is, in his own teddy bear way. I guess you are right too, he does have to fit a minimum looks criteria. But what I am trying to say is, I sure as hell am not looking for Brad Pitt material… 😉

    Then again, maybe I am different from others. I may not be too bothered in the looks department for my man, but he SURE AS HELL has to be humourous, intelligent and has to have the ability to spoil me rotten. These are MUSTS for me. Hahahaha.

    Reply
  6. DeV|LisH

    Agreed with Rachel!
    that cute guys tend to cheat and i’m so over that as well.
    haha but sometimes don’t know it’s true or not. Like my godbrother he always have tonnes of gals with him last time. Then he pick the prettiest one of cos as his long time gf. But after 3 months of living hell. He totally swear off pretty gal. I tot he’s just kidding but till now he still remain with his most normal looking gf. Whom i feel really suits him though not pretty as the rest but in terms of personality wise she’s perfect. Feel happy for him =) guess maybe for him personality first and not pretty face.

    Reply
  7. Rachel

    actually ugly guys cheat too.. Sigh. I think what matters is really the character and personality. looks may fade, virility may die down but a good heart will withstand the ravages of time.

    Reply
  8. mooiness Post author

    Rachel: about your boyfriend being cute – there you go. There’s still a minimum threshold to be upheld. As mentioned above, looks is a big part of the relationship initially and then it’s everything else that holds it together.

    DeV|LisH: pretty girls are like expensive cars – the upkeep and maintenance will kill ya. 😀

    Reply
  9. DeV|LisH

    well Mooey NO PAIN NO GAIN rite? hahaha cos i bet most guys prefer pretty lady if they get to choose wat =) so try find those pretty lady with low maintenance. If too high maintenance then make sure u don’t a hole in your pocket when see the bills.

    Reply
  10. Rachel

    this is a really interesting topic that you touch on. great fodder for thought. if there are two girls: one is not pretty, but have a nice character, the other is pretty but boring… which one will you choose?

    Hmm..

    Reply
  11. mooiness Post author

    DeV|LisH: *all* guys would want a pretty woman with low maintenance but that is almost impossible – because every other guy would want her, her maintenance *will* be high. 😀

    So it’s up to the guy to gradually tone down his expectations and make a compromise. Those who wouldn’t want to compromise would be like Shallow Hal.

    Rachel: very difficult to say. All I can say is, “pretty but boring” will not last. And when you say “not pretty”, that would depend on the minimum threshold and that’s different for everyone, at any point in time. 😉

    Not everyone is like Quasimodo, and not everyone is model perfect – there is a wide spectrum of in-betweens.

    Reply

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