I have a very short fuse but it’s only my immediate family who has the misfortune of seeing me lose my temper badly. Outside my family, I hold it back pretty well. Even when I have dust-ups with the boss, it’s mild in comparison.
However, if I can’t hold it back anymore it blows up just as badly as it does around my family. Thus far, these incidents have happened exclusively in nightclubs – a total of four times.
Twice, it involved female strangers who thought that they could behave badly and expected me to quietly eat it up, just because I’m a small Asian man and they were female. Once it was me yelling at an out of control female friend who was drunk.
The fourth and most recent time happened on Saturday night at The Deen.
Here’s how it went down …
Muttley* and his two mates barged through the crowd towards the bar and starts to loudly berate and gesture two Asian guys to get away from the bar. The two Asians had got their drinks and moved away without getting too upset about it all. I was at the bar next to these two guys, and I was thinking,
Just try the same shit on me buddy, just try it …
The mutts’ behaviour was bordering on racist. And even if it wasn’t I suspect that they thought they could pull this shit on meek looking Asians and get away with it.
At that time I had been patiently waiting at the bar with Simon for 10 minutes. Muttley put his drink in between us and shoved in. I took a deep breath and let it go then – Simon had already ordered the drinks, so no harm no foul. Yet.
The drinks came and at the exact same moment, Muttley stepped back away from the bar. I leaned over to get my drink from Simon and this was when the fireworks happened.
Muttley: HEY! You fucking cut me off! Where’s your fucking manners?!
Me: *took a second deep breath, handed Muttley’s drink back to him*
Muttley: Fucking idiots …
Me: *I snapped* GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!
Muttley: *Took a step back*
Me: *eyes all bugged out and yelling at the top of my voice now* Yeah I’m fucking smaller than you! What!? Go on! Push in again! Fucking do it! Go on, piss me off again!!!
At this stage, Simon was holding me back and Muttley’s friends were holding him back. I could see the look of bewilderment on his face, like he couldn’t quite understand what just happened. I seethed and stared at his group till they walked off.
When I took my drink again, my hands were shaking. The rage that overcame me so suddenly scared even myself. Only then did I think about being lucky to not be yanked out of there by the bouncers, or worse – being punched or having something broken over my head.
I overheard another guy who’d witnessed this said to Simon, “Shit dude. Your friend is funny. ‘I’m smaller than you!’ That’s awesome.”
Except that I didn’t think that it was funny or awesome. It was dumb. Losing one’s temper in a nightclub is a potentially dangerous thing. I said this the past times that this has happened and yet it still happens.
How timely it was on Friday that I talked about “When are you too old to party?“. Maybe it’s not when I’d lose my energy and drive to go out. Rather it might be when I deem that I’m too dangerous to myself because I can’t tolerate other people’s bad behaviour anymore.
Perhaps I should look into being a practising Buddhist instead of just one in name. If I’m gonna be clubbing still, I think I could use the calmness. If not the calmness, then at least a balance between being a pushover and letting loose with blind rage.
[tags]anger management, clubbing[/tags]