Lonely when not alone

May 6, 2007 9:22 PM

Lonely man at bar
Tom Harpel @ flickr
(via everystockphoto.com)

I’ve said previously that meaningless sex is just dull. That sex without the emotional connection is like a fast food meal – it will satisfy you then and there, but it leaves an empty unfulfilled feeling after. Though now, I’d like to add a caveat to that. Meaningless sex can be great if the physical attraction is strong.

This thought hit me quite suddenly late Saturday night when I was feeling lonely in a sea of people, in the din and loud music of a nightclub.

I was wondering why haven’t I felt anything for anyone for so long? Then I remembered that I did have a strong feeling for someone which led to the best sex that I’ve ever had. But it was with someone whom I didn’t really fancy as a person at all. However, the strong physical attraction was such that it overrode any other considerations. In other words, it was driven by pure lust.

No relationship came out of it, and the empty feeling did come back after. But at the time, it reinvigorated me and I was smiling for the next few days. However I must say that I feel ambivalent that the best physical relations that I’ve had was not also with someone whom I connected with emotionally.

Maybe that’s why I suddenly felt lonely when I’m not alone. And maybe I shouldn’t be having alcohol whilst having these thoughts.

8 thoughts on “Lonely when not alone

  1. shelly rayedeane

    I agree with you completely. I am the type of person who is very passionate, but not so much once I’ve obtained something. Which leads to the question: Isn’t passion ultimately created by something someone really thinks they can’t have anyways?

    I mean, look at people who have their life handed to them on a silver platter. Are they really that passionate? Are they?

  2. mooiness Post author

    Fredison: what pattern? not getting emotionally fulfilling sex? If that’s the case, yes. And this happened a while ago btw. I’ve been “barren” for quite some time.

    shelly: haha you mean you always want what you can’t have? I’m not like that at all. I just haven’t found the right person to get excited about, in a very long time. And I wonder if I’ll ever do.

  3. Fredison

    It happens to even me and to the best of everyone I am sure Marcus. Don’t worry just keep going along your path and sooner or later someone will walk along side with you and it’ll be sweet.

  4. cloud-juice

    At least, you can tell the difference between love and lust. So many of us tend to mistake one for the other. That’s the real tragedy.Yes, just keep walking…Hang in there!

  5. mooiness Post author

    Fredison: true and we must definitely keep on walking. Life waits for no one afterall.

    cloud-juice: good point about being able to make a difference. At least I have that. Hahah! Thanks for the well wishes.


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