I work for a company that provides online services. And we take it for granted that not everyone is as net-savvy as us. But some people really do take the cake.
What is this “email” you keep talking about?
Me: Ok I will send these details to your email address. What would that be?
Customer: I don’t have one. Can you fax it to me please?
Customer: Why haven’t you got back to me regarding such and such?
Me: Oh I mentioned that I will send you more details to your email.
Customer: You did?
Customer: Oh sorry I forgot. I only read my email if I know I’m getting one.
If I’ve built it, why doesn’t anyone come?
Customer: I’ve set up my e-commerce site just like you’ve instructed me. How come I don’t get any sales?
Me: Have you done any advertising? Promoted your domain name in magazines, newspapers, your shop signage etc.?
Customer: No, isn’t that what Google is for?
Me: Yes it can be used that way but you are selling something very common and there are hundreds and thousands of sites out there doing the same thing.
Customer: Hmph, well then how come I’m not #1 when people search for what I’m selling?
I’m just lazy, ok?
Customer: Hmm, I didn’t know setting up this online thing requires any effort on my part.
Customer: This is so difficult. Shouldn’t this be easier?
Me: It shows on our records that you declined our free basic training. Is there a reason why?
Customer: I don’t have the time.
Me: Ok, we do have an online user guide that you can …
Customer: I can’t be bothered. Just tell me on the phone now.
Maybe I’m just not cut out for this
Customer: Ok wait a minute. How do I browse the Internet again?
*oldie but a goodie*
Customer: I can’t see my website. Are you guys down?
Me: Not that I know of. Let me check. Yeah, nope … doesn’t seem to be our problem. I can see your website fine.
Customer: Are you sure?
Me: Yes. *hears old school dialup modem dialing out* Wait, is that your modem connecting?
Customer: Yeah I forgot to dial into the Internet.