I wouldn’t steal your girlfriend

August 8, 2007 8:36 PM

A couple with the woman's hand in his pocket

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“I don’t see a ring on her finger”.

I have a friend who once firmly operated on that principle. Any woman who wasn’t married was fair game to him. It doesn’t matter that she’s been with the same guy forever. He’d say,

They’ve been together how long? And they haven’t gotten married yet? More reason for her to ditch the loser.

During his years of conquest, some girls would leave their boyfriends for him, some would cheat on their boyfriends with him, and then there were those who got pissed off and annoyed by his persistence. And sometimes angry and jealous boyfriends would get involved and that is never good.

I don’t believe in breaking up a couple because even if I don’t believe in karma, what’s to say that the same thing wouldn’t happen to me? Because if a woman in a relationship can be swayed by someone better who comes along, I wouldn’t be secure with her ever – there will always be someone better than me out there. And of course, there’s no telling what some psychotic jilted ex would do to me.

Thus, I wouldn’t initiate contact or I wouldn’t pursue it if I knew the woman wasn’t available. But I’m going to contradict myself here and say that if it was the woman who initiated contact and wanted to push things further then I may not turn her down. Depending on whether I am physically attracted to her of course. I would never be able to do it with someone I don’t feel for.

A woman with a kissing couple behind her
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If that happens, I guess I’m still ruining the relationship for the boyfriend. However, I will treat it as something casual and not push for a relationship because what’s to say that she wouldn’t continue to seek for sex outside of the relationship?

I do know one or two couples whose beginnings started out as something illicit or on the side, or either the man or the woman had instigated the breakup of an existing relationship, and yet they have ended up married. Last I know, they are still happy together.

For me, I’m not ready to take the chance in a situation like that yet. But who knows? I may get desperate enough. 😉

12 thoughts on “I wouldn’t steal your girlfriend

  1. nasilemak

    I think there are quite a number of people who stay in a ‘wrong’ relationship just because they are afraid to be alone;thus the need for the initial ‘cheating’.

    However…would you want to be with a person who is afraid to be single anyway? I wouldn’t. I believe singledom should be properly enjoyed – and I absolutely abhor people who look for someone/something new because they just need a push or support unit to leave the person they no longer love.

  2. shelly rayedeane

    People don’t cheat because the temptation is there, they cheat because of a communication problem in the relationship they’re currently in. Now, going after “taken” women might make for a good one night stand, but I doubt it rarely turns into anything more then that…

    because love on the rebound rarely works. Especially if you’re constantly wondering if they’re going to cheat on you after they cheated with you to leave somebody else. lol.

  3. mooiness Post author

    nasilemak: interesting theory about couples who need an excuse to break up. And definitely right about ppl who can’t be single – if they don’t love themselves, then you gonna have to be his/her security blanket all the time. That gets tiring real fast.

    shelly: like what Bruno Kirby said in “When Harry Met Sally”, “cheating is a symptom that there’s something wrong in the marriage”. And Billy Crystal says, “Well, that symptom is fucking my wife.” Heh.

    Yeah rebounds don’t usually work for several reasons. Being insecure with a flighty person is one of them.

  4. Indra

    sadly I’ve my sin in the past.. I won’t go for a friend’s girlfriend, but generally, if I don’t know the boyfriend, then to me, it’s up to the girl whether she choose to cheat, or even break up and went with me instead.

    however, I’ve since then, become rather paranoid, because I knew that in the past, I’m capable of taking other people’s girlfriend, so why can’t people take away my girlfriend? right?

    still, after my last few relationship, I was assured that its not necessarily true. As long you lead a good relationship, why should you worry of losing your partner?

    savvy? 🙂

  5. LupinTan

    I can’t possible see myself chasing my good friend’s girl also.

    but it’s always that kinda of guy( the one you mention that goes for girls even with boyfriends) that gets the girls most of the time.

  6. mooiness Post author

    indra: that’s another good way of looking at it. Obviously if the relationship is good for the both of you, it would last. But sometimes, you wouldn’t know whether a person would repeat their behaviour, whether or not it’s just their character to do so.

    lupin: I’m not saying go after a friend’s girlfriends, I think it’s bad even if you don’t know the other guy. I just can’t feel secure knowing that the girl is capable of being “stolen”.

  7. AP

    To be blunt, if a girl is willing to cheat to go out with me, I will make sure any subsequent relationship does not progress past the casual sex stage.

    To be honest though I’m over the whole “trying to pick up girls with boyfriends phase”. Over the last 4 or 5 years, I’ve had many such girls flirt outrageously with me…just enough to give me temptation to go in for the kill.

    But then inevitably due to an attack of conscience on my part or hers, the window of opportunity fizzles and nothing happens.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is, ALL girls in relationships by nature will give other guys varying degrees of opportunity. Some guys (like your friend) pounce, others (like me) wimp out. Likewise some girls will get sucked along and cheat, others won’t.

    The bottom line is emotional intelligence. If you have it you’ll only really be happy (and comfortable) with a partner that also does.

    People without it will cheat and divorce their way through life…


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