Small talk ain’t all that


September 5, 2007 11:30 PM

gatecrasher-water

When mingling at a social event, and I’m stuck with distant acquaintances, people I don’t really like or complete strangers up till then, and the sense of awkwardness starts to creep in due to the silence and the drink in my hand rapidly diminishing thus rendering me without an excuse to not talk … I feel compelled to say something to make small talk.

But then, I always have this internal monologue happening:

Do you really need to know?
Do you really care?
Why do you care what he thinks of the party or the people here?
Why do you care what job he has or how much money he makes?
Do you really want to know how long he’s been with that hot girlfriend of his?
Can you learn something useful as a result of saying something?
Will your life improve?
Seriously! Do you really give a shit about who or what this person is about?
Yeah, I thought so.

“Hey, I’m going to get another drink.”
“Great!”
“Nice talking to you.”
“Likewise.”

11 thoughts on “Small talk ain’t all that

  1. shelly rayedeane

    I think it’s a natural thing to feel uncomfortable in a room full of people you don’t know. My only question to you would be why you assume the things people are thinking about without talking to them to find out first. I mean, not everybody fits into the mold anyone of us creates for people in our minds. 🙂

    Reply
  2. mooiness Post author

    nadnut: heheh, most of the times it’s pointless isn’t it? Asking questions where we don’t really care about the answers.

    nasilemak: exactly, if you are not interested in the other person, your conversation with them will feel so forced. And don’t you have internal monologues as well?! Hahaha!

    shelly: actually that monologue is not what I’d imagine the other person is saying – it’s my brain talking back to me. But I get your point about assumptions too. Though if I’m not really interested in the person, I won’t be compelled to want to know more about them anyway. 🙂

    Reply
  3. yurl

    lol, I dread the small talk thing as well. You listen to what’s coming out of your mouth and the little voice tells you “man you are such a fake ass”.
    having said that I met one of my best mates at a party and started off as a mindless small talk conversation, but that’s the only one exception i have.
    on a side note if you ever get the chance, go to a Ron Gibson seminar. He does coaching on how to work a room. It’s all formularised but its amazing how the same cheesy lines can get a conversation started anywhere, Ron teaches you how to do it without seeming insincere though. even if you’re not into that kinda stuff its fun to watch a pro schmoozer at work

    Reply
  4. LupinTan

    “Hey, nice haircut”
    “Wow, what happen to you, you seems to lose weight”
    “Heard that the cleaning auntie just struck ToTo (lottery)”
    “It’s going to rain soon”
    “Jean’s baby weigh 8 pounds”
    “Boss is hitting on the secretary again”

    etc. etc.

    Reply
  5. mooiness Post author

    yurl: yes, some ppl are better at fake-ass-ery than others. And some would pay to learn it. I don’t schmooze for my work so the seminar is probably of no value to me. Plus I’m always a GENUINE person. Heheh.

    Lupin: and to all of that, I can answer with –
    “Wow, really?!” Hahaha!

    Reply
  6. nihonwhinequeen

    I hate small talk, so much so i rather be home blogging, stalking other blogs or read a book.

    My internal monologue is one word. “Whatever…”…while the small talk continues, how fake is that? And the worse thing is, most of the time, nothing gets registered and sometimes the small talk repeats itself until maybe the 3rd or 4th time, i realised, oh shit, havent i heard that before somewhere…zzzz….

    Reply

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