Yue-Fei’s mother tattooing the back of the legendary Chinese warrior.
“Yue-Fei’s mother” is Chinese slang for “backstabber”
This happened a while ago, around the time that I had my most emotionally satisfying relationship. In a nutshell, she was only going to be in Perth for 6 weeks and the fact that a guy friend at the time would try to get with her was funny.
Not ha-ha funny as you would have gathered, but just plain illogical. Here’s how it happened. The second time that I had went out with her, we bumped into him at the club. I had known him for quite some time now, and we always went out for drinks together.
He approached me and asked if he could buy her a drink and take her out for supper after. At the time, I didn’t think that she owed me anything that she had to stay with me the whole night.
So I said to him,
Yeah, good luck.
We partied the night away and then them two went for supper without me – I just said I was tired and will see them the next night. The morning after, she called me and asked, “Was that guy your friend?” I said, “Yeah. Why?”
He said some really negative things about you.
Silly things like you’re short and that you smoke. And why am I with you.
I laughed, more out of bewilderment than anything. At first, it was because of how low those remarks were. And secondly, “Why? What’s the point?” I mean why would he trash the friendship over something so temporary? I never bothered to ask him about it and that was the end of the friendship. Though I still see him around the place from time to time. We can make small talk but that was as far as it goes.
Shame really. He did a stupid thing, didn’t he?
These are my rules when it comes to women and guy friends:
- If he had approached her first, then she’s off limits until he fails.
- And if I wanted to have a go next, I would be upfront to him about it.
- The exception to the rule is that she chooses me instead, despite me not doing anything. Again, I’d be upfront to him about it.
- She was his ex. Once again, honest communication. “I value the friendship but we have feelings for each other” etc. I wouldn’t rub it in his face and I would make an effort to remain neutral.
- If she was my ex. Same as the above. She may not want me to find out, but I expect him as a friend to let me know about it before I had to see it in front of my eyes. I don’t like any sneaking around.
- Women are not men’s properties, she can make up her own mind about us. I will not place blame on a friend just because the girl I like fancies him more. I expect the same from him.
- If you behaved like the guy in my story above, then the friendship is over. “Bros before hos”.
- And if you don’t believe in “bros before hos”, and you were going to screw me over anyway, at least be honest about it.
Bonus question to you: men or women, would you date the ex of a friend? How about the friend of an ex? And how would you go about it? Discuss. 🙂