Being single during holidays

November 19, 2007 8:56 PM

A couple and a flower

p0psicle @ stock.xchng

Being the king of short relationships, I’ve never had a girlfriend over any of the major holidays or events like Valentine’s Day, Christmas and New Year’s. I once had a girlfriend with whom I lasted long enough to go through Easter with, but that’s not usually a holiday one would associate with couples like the other three are.

Whether it’s a subsconscious decision, or fate and luck are both playing a funny joke on me, I don’t know. But because I’ve never ever had a girlfriend over those holidays, I don’t feel sad or lonely when the days arrive since I wouldn’t know the difference. Heh.

It could be a blessing in disguise though because I know of people who get depressed if they don’t have someone to kiss or hold over the holidays. I notice that this happen with women more often than men. Sometimes, their behaviour would border on desperation – they’d rather have anyone than no one.

Me? I love the holidays. With the possible exception of Valentine’s Day (even though I think I’d be good at it), which I feel a mild-disdain for its over-commercialisation and for giving couples an excuse to gloat over singles, I enjoy being unattached during those times. The primary reason is because the end of year parties are so much more fun as a single person.

So do any of you feel depressed if you were single over the holidays, and you’d feel a desperate urge to hook up with someone and anyone? Or are you like me and think “Fuck it! I’m gonna get wasted and snog some strangers”? :mrgreen:

19 thoughts on “Being single during holidays

  1. Lad Litter

    I affect a disdain for the Big V too. Here in Australia, it was once like Halloween, known only via American television. However, I go along with both to stay in the good books here at home. When I was single, I found Valentine’s Day excruciating. I still hate the big showy bouquet-delivered-to-work phenomenon.

  2. Fr0g

    Yes, beginning when i had just broke off ..during these lonely holidays, those couples in the public behaved as if they are like “mating”…made me missed him….kekek

    However, after some time, its back to normal again… ^__^

    cheer single hood’s life!

  3. sourrain

    I really don’t get the big deal with V day. Honestly. I had never sat down on the proper candlelit dinner with chocs and a big ass useless teddy bear before.

    I had spent it with and without partners before, and honestly, if love is only displayable with the silliness of overpriced roses and gifts, I’d rather have an expensive handbag any time, thank you very much.

    Oh wait, I think when I was 16 I had a Valentine’s day ‘date’ that was actually in a restaurant. If TGI Friday’s romantic. Bleah.

    I think the most memorable V day was spent with my parents one year…because our car was stolen on that day and we were all too depressed to even eat dinner!

  4. Jeremy

    Think of all the $$$ you can save, and think of all those single women feeling depressed and in need of you. I think you’ve got a good thing going. Me, I’m just shy, so I’d just stay home with my poetries and stuff… yeah, that’s it.


  5. Papa

    So do any of you feel depressed if you were single over the holidays,
    I’ve been married for over a decade, but I don’t get depressed over the holidays.

    and you’d feel a desperate urge to hook up with someone and anyone?

    Or are you like me and think “Fuck it! I’m gonna get wasted and snog some strangers”?
    I don’t bother snogging or shagging strangers but I don’t mind getting wasted.

  6. Lisa Y

    Hmmm. Not fuss with Valentine’s Day. Overrated prices on everything from chocolates to flowers and dinners. When I was abroad & living alone, I spent the festives alone or with friends. Not very depressing because I had a great bunch of friends then. Strangers at parties didn’t really look appealing then either. Butt ugly, desperate or behaving like fools. That immediately took my desperation & depression away. 🙂

    I hated times at high school though when the girls from clubs & societies had this dirty little fundraising trick of selling chocolates & flowers to students for V day. They would come in during a lesson and start distributing to those who were given by their boyfriends, crushes, secret admirers, friends and whats-not. Made the rest of us geeky girls & boys look sad.

  7. mooiness Post author

    Lad Litter: funny you should mention the flowers-to-work thing – the girls love it!

    Fr0g: public displays of affection are ok within limits. Sometimes some ppl really need to be told off and not just because it’s annoying to the singles.

    sourrain: me neither. It’s like it’s not enough to show your love any other day, it MUST be on that day. Bleah.

    nadnut: even if I was a couple, I might just skip all those expensive and elaborate dates. Hahah! Maybe that’s why it’s always short term with me.

    Jeremy: hahah! Poetry eh? But yeah, you got a point about the money saved and the single women met.

    Papa: lucky you that you are in a happy relationship.

    Lisa: actually I have the same thoughts – you wouldn’t feel lonely if you surround yourself with a bunch of good friends. As for highschool, that was a social minefield wasn’t it?

  8. blur ting

    I like your positive attitude and ability to keep yourself occupied and happy all the time.

    V days are the worse. It’s so weird to see all these couples trying to be romantic sitting in a packed restaurant with candles flickering on every table. The restaurants squeeze in as many tables as possible so everyone’s sitting so close to each other. How can this be romantic?

    But you’re right about women… if we don’t get any special treatment on that day, we’ll feel so depressed …

  9. girlstar7

    My theory is you’re more likely to feel depressed over the holiday period as a single if you’ve just broken up with someone, esp someone long-term. i.e. you are used to always having someone to spend the holidays with and do coupley things, and now you don’t. i was dumped the day after Christmas last year, and it didn’t make that period very much fun, I’ll tell ya that!
    But once you’ve been single for a while and are not in the heartbreak period, I think you get kinda used to it, and there’s no probs with being “alone” over the holiday period. I say “alone” because even if you don’t have a partner, you might still have great family and/or a fantastic set of friends.
    I’m single and I have no probs with it. I’m looking forward to flying up to Sydney and having a holiday for a week without having to consult anyone! Also, i really look forward to the Christmas parties.
    To to answer yoru question, i’d go with the second option: ‘fuck it, I’m gonna go out and snog some strangers!’

  10. mooiness Post author

    alyndabear: that’s what I think too! Unfortunately, “but I love you every other day!” does not satisfy every women. Heheh.

    blur ting: yeah the crass exploitation of the couples, and especially men on V-day is ludicrous. Though sometimes it’s funny because you could see a couple out on V-day, and you can immediately tell if they’ve just hooked up recently.

    girlstar7: ah point taken. Getting dumped around the holidays may also have a lasting effect by reminding you of it the next time the holidays come again.

    But yeah having good friends and family around is the best!

  11. lovie

    I miss having a special someone during those holidays, but not to the extend that I’ll simply just hook up with someone who I barely know.
    I think it’s not that I’ll feel lonely and need someone desperately during those holidays, it’s just that I’ll miss all the good times that I’ve shared with a special someone during those holidays.

  12. Moi

    I know what you mean! My relationship with my boyfriend has been going downhill lately, and as we are not spending Christmas / New Year together, I am wondering if I break up with him so as to avoid the heartache. Or is that another stupid girl thing to do?

  13. mooiness Post author

    lovie: exactly – like the holidays do not feel quite the same because you are so used to celebrating it with someone.

    Moi: whether or not you break up has to be decided by yourself. I will say this though – don’t let the time of the year, or an impending holiday affect your decision because it’s totally superficial. And don’t feel like you have to wait till after the holidays or something. If you don’t feel like being with him anymore, then breakup.

    On the other hand, don’t break up just because you think you’d have a sucky holiday period either. 😉

  14. rn

    I used to celebrate Mid-Autumn with my brother and my sister and their partners. Needless to say, when the fireworks came up and they all cuddled with each other I felt more alone than ever.

    I guess the stats will probably show that more people hook up at the end of the year/beginning of the year due to the big holidays like Christmas, New Year and V day, but I know most of us have our head screwed on properly to know the difference b/w loneliness and genuine fondness of someone, which should be the reason why we explore things further, eh?


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