You’re not fat!

April 30, 2008 8:59 PM

Bathroom scale
Antonio Martinez @ flickr

Cosmic coincidence? One told me to remove photos of her because she thought she looks fat in them. One is contemplating liposuction. And two more, although not in as dramatic situations as the previous two, still compelled me to say to them,

You’re not fat!

Although there are men in dysfunctional relationships who cause women to have a distorted view of their bodies – fat where there isn’t and ugly when they aren’t, there are a larger number of men out there who love their women just the way they are.

But the women don’t listen to their men. “Honey, you look fine” don’t make them feel good about themselves as much as a critical look from another woman makes them feel bad about ordering dessert. And I guess this is the crutch of it: women are their own worse enemies.

Men have learnt long ago that to compare our women to other women is asking for hell hath no fury. And yet women do it to themselves all the time. Pay attention the next time an attractive women walks into the room, and watch how all the other women look at her. It’s almost instinct, this desire to either be critical or to compare.

Here’s a secret. Men don’t like thin woman. Men like curves and flesh. Men dig women with appetite because it alludes to their appetite elsewhere. Men don’t like being reminded of their grandmothers when they touch your malnourished skin on your bony arms. Men like holding on to you without fearing they might break you.

Love handles? Hey, they are called “handles” for a reason. Baby got back? Slap! Boobs? Bewbs? Don’t have to ask me twice! Tits, hips and ass are what defines a woman’s shape. We don’t want skinny, we want fleshy. And we definitely do not want to feel like we are doing it to a boy.

Being skinny is not the only way for you to be beautiful. So unless you are obese, please stop counting the calories and come have a thick slice of cheese cake with me. I’ll even get one that’s low fat. Just as long as you eat. Eating makes you happy. Honest. And then we’d even have the energy to party the night away and after. 🙂

19 thoughts on “You’re not fat!

  1. LupinTan

    BM not fat lah.

    One friend ask me, will I still be friend with her if she’s fat. I said yes. Then we counter-scenario with me saying “No”, then her appopriate reply is “but I still friend you though u are fat leh.”

    Comon ladies, I don’t care whether u are fat or not, as long as you are confident and not obnoxious, guys will like.

  2. sophia

    I love my food a lot and tend to eat a lot too. My friends were shocked when the first time they had dinner with me! Hahaha… My rice is like a mountain!

    But I must admit that there are times that I would feel really fat! Especially when my friends asked me “have you put on weight?” That’s the time when I really wanna loose weight and cut down on eating. But after that, I eat again, gain weight again, loose weight again, eat again….. never-ending routine. ^^

    I think just as long as that person doesn’t complain about his/her weights everyday, then I will be fine. I do have a friend who asks me whether she has lost weight, whether her arms look smaller, etc everyday! I get really sick of it and I will just give her the answer she wants.

  3. mooiness Post author

    bm: but but … you is not! 😛

    lupin: yeah unless her BMI indicates she’s REALLY overweight, women come in all shapes and sizes.

    Jeff: but you can’t photoshop real life!

    sophia: Depriving yourself of food only makes you crave it more, hence the yo-yoing. Better to just eat moderately all the time and feel happy about it. As for your friend, wow she sounds like she’d be a pain to be around. Heheh.

  4. bunnygoeszen

    I don’t know if some of these women are just fishing for compliments. I’ve got some girlfriends who do the “Boohoo I’m so fat” thing constantly, just wanting to be reassured that they are not. Methinks they need to do something about their self esteem.

    I seem to be on the other extreme- thinking I’m still thin and can afford that one more slice of cheesecake, when I’m actually putting on weight. Lol!

  5. girlstar7

    Me personally, I don’t think I’m fat and I can’t be bothered with dieting. Life is too short, just live it up and ENJOY your food! I have no desire to be stick thin, and I’d rather have a few curves. I’m a D=cup and dont wanna lose my boobs! Of all the guys I’ve been with, none of them have complained that I wasn’t skinny enough or that my boobs were too big.
    Unfortunately, though, I’m in the minority. Many girls are OBSESSED with their weight. I know some girls who are constantly on a diet, counting calories and obsessing over how much they weigh.
    I saw pics of that friend of urs and she is SKINNY. What the fuck is she thinking getting liposuction, is she completely out of her mind?! Waste of money not to mention a DANGEROUs procedure with heaps of risk factors. Also those sorts of procedures (stomach stapling, liposuction etc) are meant for people that are OBESE and have serious weight problems and therefore health problems so it’s their last resort. NOT for people who are a size 8 that want to be a size 6…

  6. mooiness Post author

    bunnygoeszen: some women do fish for compliments like that, though the ones whom I’d mentioned here wasn’t. And hey nothing wrong with plump women at all – so eat away!

    blur ting: hahah! yeah the hip bones would be banging against each other too much?!

    girlstar7: of course – what guy would complain about big boobs?! Hey as long as it’s not comically and ridiculously big, it’s all good!

    Re: Lipo – that’s what I said to her. She had explain that it’s not like traditional lipo – more like shaving a little off here and there. I agree with you though. She doesn’t need it at all. 🙂

  7. Yuuka

    It`s so easy to fall into the need-to-lose-weight trap. I`m a size 6 to 8, have really broad shoulders and I`m not toned so people love telling me I`m plump or fat thinking I won`t be offended because I`m still kinda small-ish. It`s their version of constructive criticism, I think?

    Anyway, I find that older men (or those with more appealing mindsets hehe) are the ones who like curvy or fleshier women. The young ones like them with 2% body fat!

  8. Silverstar

    Here’s another secret for you: Different men like different things. My man (like lots of guys) DOES like skinny (though not emaciated) women which is good because I’m naturally thin. There are plenty of women like myself, who are naturally athletic who get told this new mantra “Real women have curves”, well I may not have big curves (aka a big ass and tits) but trust me I am ALL woman!;)

    Healthy is beautiful, large or small.

  9. mooiness Post author

    Yuuka: hey, is that a compliment? Woohoo! Personally I don’t comment on a girl’s shape, size or weight unless I really really know her. And even then, only if she brings up the topic.

    Silverstar: true that. I guess my main point is against dieting, deprivation and starving and/or surgery when there isn’t a need to.

  10. Kitty

    i agree! Eating makes you happy!
    (i just had an awesome tuna with grilled onions on a muffin with melted cheese… mmmmmmmm… slurp slurp)
    but i is fat? hahahaha lets go have cheesecake mooii… farrell’s baked choc cheesecake rocks!

  11. mooiness Post author

    Kitty: wah that muffin sounded awesome. And cheesecake?! Anytime! You know how to contact me! 😀

    glayinme: hmmm, high fat and high carbs should be able to do the trick. But if you aren’t too skinny, then enjoy it. Some women would kill for your metabolism.

    bunnygoeszen: give me some of that yum yum chuck!

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  13. Yuuka

    Relatives at a gathering are the worst offenders of commenting on how thin, fat, or single you are! You can keep up the good work on liking all sorts of ladies! 😛


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