The tough guy’s guide to emo movies


May 5, 2008 6:52 PM

Guys don’t like crying, or they don’t anyway when there are people around. This is why you’d see them go all quiet and get choked up during emotional scenes in movies. They hold it back the most when they are watching the chick flicks their girlfriends have forced them to watch. I can assure you that it is very difficult.

Is it easier to just let it all out? Sure, but it’s just not very masculine is it? However, here’s a list of non-chick flicks that a guy should be allowed to bawl his eyes out to, without being labelled as “being in touch with his feelings”. Because hey, who wants that?

* WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD *
 
 
 

Here are the movies:

  • Armageddon. When Bruce Willis’ character sacrifices himself by staying back on the asteroid to detonate the nuclear device. And just before he does, he gives a touching speech to Ben Affleck’s character about how he’s the perfect man for his daughter and to look after her. It’s so moving that even Ben Affleck cried. *cries*
  • Robocop. When Peter Weller as police officer Murphy gets shot up to a million pieces on the first day that the happily-married father of one got transferred to his new precinct. Hard to watch, easy to cry. *cries*
  • Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. When Jason Scott Lee as Bruce Lee gets crippled temporarily, and when he dies in the end. He’s been racially discriminated against his whole life, and just as he’s established himself in the martial arts world, he gets crippled. And after he recovers and becomes a big movie star, triumphantly starring in a movie in a Hollywood which rejected him earlier for being too Asian, he fucking dies. Real life is tragic. *cries*
  • A Perfect World. When Kevin Costner’s prison fugitive asks his inadvertent hostage kid to run towards the marshals pursuing him, and then gets shot up by them when he was about to surrender because one of the marshals thought he was pulling out a gun when he was actually pulling out a photo. All this after he’s protected the boy from other bad men, shown him how to live correctly, and telling him to make his choices in life very carefully, lest he becomes like him. Come on! *cries*
  • Saving Private Ryan. Every time one of Tom Hank’s squad gets killed, including Tom Hanks in the end. Why? Because his entire squad died trying to save one man because politicians safe at home thought that they can’t have three brothers from one single family die in a war. Futile waste of lives makes me emotional. *cries*
  • A Shawshank Redemption. When the old prisoner gets depressed in the outside world because he can’t cope with it, after being in prison for close to 60 years, and commits suicide. Gets me every time. It’s so unfair! *cries*
  • The Crow. Knowing that Brandon Lee was dead whilst watching the movie notwithstanding, seeing his good-guy character who is so in love with his fiance, forced to see her being raped and then gets thrown out his apartment window by comically evil guys raised my inner indignation so much that I couldn’t help it. When Brandon Lee says, “It can’t rain all the time.” And when the little girl says in the end, “Buildings burn and people die, but true love is forever.” Oh man. *cries*
  • Philadelphia. When Tom Hank’s slowly dying character wins his court case, and then dies. With Neil Young’s sombre song “Philadelphia” playing in the background, and photos of Tom Hanks character as a kid flashing across the screen, it’s impossible to hold it back! *cries*

Note: I should add that the only chick flick that you are allowed to cry in is Titanic – when Leonardo Dicaprio as Jack dies in the water. Oh yeah, and Ghost too – every time Patrick Swayze or Demi Moore cries, I cried. *ahem* Yeah think I better stop talking now.

18 thoughts on “The tough guy’s guide to emo movies

  1. suze

    lol @ Land Before Time. wasnt that the cartoon abt dinosaurs?.. probably was abt more than tho. pity i dnt remember much abt it =[
    ohoh wat abt The Notebook? i read in a magazine that guys were likely to shed a tear or two during that film. my brother in law liked that film. he recommended my sister to watch it.. funny coz it shuld be the other way around.. considering its abit more of a chick flick..

    Reply
  2. virtousity

    Hey, what about when Dorothy Boyd (Renee Zellweger)said “You got me at harlow!” after Tom Cruise’s speech in Jerry Maguire…u have to bloody cry! =P

    Reply
  3. rn

    I cried watching 3 kings when one of them had their lungs deflated.

    Yes, I know.

    Anyways, I think men who cry are tough. It’s hard showing your emotions. =)

    Reply
  4. Yuuka

    My younger brother cried watching the Lilo & Stitch movie! “Ohana means family..” “Stitch go in spaceship now?” *(T__T)* Keke. I know it`s mean but it`s so hard to hold back from poking fun at anyone who`s tearing or sniffling when watching ANY movie.

    Reply
  5. mooiness Post author

    virtousity: that’s a chick-flick!

    bunnygoeszen: thanks. *sniff*

    rn: that’s more like it – a guy’s film! Good example!

    Yuuka: ok – no cartoon and no chick-flicks. Those are blatant tear jerkers. 😛

    Reply
  6. Lad Litter

    Great list, Moo: Robocop in particular. There’s a diner scene in John Ford’s Grapes of Wrath (1939) that makes me go a bit watery-eyed. Great depictions of nobility will do that. Love your blog. Always a good read.

    Reply
  7. bunnygoeszen

    I just thought of one more! Don’t know if Band of Brothers counts as a movie, but that’s one where you can cry unabashedly.

    Reply
  8. mooiness Post author

    blur ting: hahah you must wear your heart on your sleeve then.

    Lad Litter: yeah agree on the nobility bit – where if we were in the same situation, we’d lost it on the evil character a long time ago. And thanks for the kind words!

    bunnygoeszen: good example – yes that one too. Similar in vein to Saving Private Ryan.

    Reply
  9. girlstar7

    Gotta love The Shawshank Redemption. One of my favourite movies. I love the end bit, where they meet up on the tropical island…*sighs*…I’ve cried during that one too 🙂

    Reply
  10. CH Cheng

    Independence Day: When Randy Quaid’s character flies his fighter into the alien ship’s weapon port. Cheesy but gets me every time.

    Schindler’s List: The maudlin final scene where surviving jews place flowers on their benefactor’s grave. Wasn’t a dry eye in the house, male or female.

    What? No Braveheart? – “Freedom!”

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *