No man is an island


May 18, 2008 10:25 PM

Tropical island, coconut trees, pool and the beach
gtrfrkbob @ stock.xchng

While it may be easier for some, being happy generally takes effort and determination. I’ve mentioned previously the need to stay positive and to keep things in perspective. And what we eat matters too. The other factor in one’s happiness is the people we have in our lives.

They say that no man is an island, that we all need to connect with other people to really live life to the fullest. However, if what surrounds that island is toxic, the island will never truly be healthy no matter how hard it tries.

Your effort at your own happiness will feel even harder than it has to be if it’s constantly being eroded by the negativity of those around you. However unlike an island, we have the ability to move away from toxic people.

It will feel hard to move away from friends whom we’ve known for a long time, even though those relationships are past their use-by dates. It’s even harder to move away from family and relatives because there’s a sense of obligation that no matter what happens, “blood is thicker than water”. But yeah, what if the blood was bad?

Therefore, it is useful to understand the sunk costs of personal relationships in these instances. A bad relationship currently is a bad relationship nonetheless, no matter how good it had been in the past. If every effort has been made to improve it and it just wouldn’t budge, then it’s really time to move on.

Happiness cannot be taken for granted. It will take effort, determination, and also courage to walk away from what’s keeping you down especially when what’s keeping you down are people whom you had once wanted in your life.

Yeah it may be hard but hey, we’ve only got one life to live. I prefer to spend it being happy most of the time. Don’t you? So go outside and seek out the positive people in your life. At the very least, the sunshine and fresh air will do you good. 🙂

7 thoughts on “No man is an island

  1. herman

    Hey, I definitely agree that some relationships are just not worth keeping. And some people are just toxic and waste of time to us.

    It’s best to stick with people who makes us happy. But we also need to seek out people who are genuine to us, not the ones that have two faces.

    Reply
  2. transnationalmigrant

    hi mooiness,

    your recent topics have really struck a chord in my heart. the one about the universal truth about getting a girl and this one as well.

    its true at the end of the day, its the choices that we make that determines how we feel.

    Reply
  3. girlstar7

    Couldn’t agree with you more. Cut all the toxic people out of your life, and you’ll be so much happier. I know too many people who keep toxic people in their lives, often exes, but sometimes friends. These people end up bringing them down and making them feel bad about themselves. Cutting them out of your life could be the best thing you you ever did! Sample situation: One of my friends is currently sleeping with her ex…she is totally in love with him but he’s using her as a booty call and doesn’t respect her. He constantly manipulates her by telling her he wants to get back together (so she’ll sleep with him) then at the last minute changes his mind. He is an example of someone who she needs to cut completley out of her life. She is not happy with the situation, and he is bringing her down. How is she meant to meet another guy who is going to treat her RIGHT if she is too hung up on her ex to even give someone else a go?
    End rant. BTW I looove that pic…kinda wish i was there right now 😛

    Reply
  4. mooiness Post author

    herman: obviously two-faced ppl are toxic ppl as well, so once you realise that they are that way – move on quickly.

    transnationalmigrant: glad that you can relate to this and the other topic. It goes to show that some problems and issues are indeed universal.

    girlstar7: I think your friend is afraid of being alone so she’s holding on to the guy. Maybe try asking her what she wants out of the relationship, as dysfunctional as it is. And if what she wants is unrealistic which it most probably is, then I think as a friend you should slap some sense into her. Figuratively of course.

    Reply
  5. Karl

    Hello,
    “However, if what surrounds that island is toxic, the island will never truly be healthy no matter how hard it tries.”

    Isn’t the point of Donne’s original passage that no man is an island? You seem to have missed his point. All of man is one, no one separate, all people connected.

    Karl.

    Reply

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