Being an anti-social bastard


July 2, 2008 9:13 PM

Library silence sign
cafe-ole @ stock.xchng

I’d happily take a big detour, or walk around the block to avoid bumping into someone. And then I bump into them anyway. “Oh hi, what a coincidence.” Wow, what a liar.

I’d stand in the stairwell if I know that if I walk out a minute or two sooner, I might have to make small talk with someone that I bump into the building occasionally. You know what, I really don’t want to know what’s up with you. I only ask because yeah, I got nothing else to say to you. Man, I hate that.

I’d pretend to stare out the window of the bus or train if I see in my peripheral vision someone whom I want to avoid eye contact with, just in case they recognise me and force me into small talk when I just want to sit and day dream away on my trip home or to work. It’s ok, we don’t have to talk. Really.

I stifle my natural smile and look stern, in case random people think it’s an invitation to make small talk about the weather or “oh, I didn’t know you take this bus/train too.” Yeah I do, and silence is golden.

Unless I’m in a social situation, I don’t like making small talk. Speed-dating is not a social situation. It’s fake and forced. Stop suggesting that idea to me.

I sound like I’m an anti-social bastard, and that is true. I have to be in the mood or I have to know you well and like spending time with you, or both, to be able to make small talk and let it mean something more than just you know, small talk. I think you deserve more than just empty words. Everyone does really. I don’t want your empty words, and I’m sure you don’t want mine.

So yeah that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it.

16 thoughts on “Being an anti-social bastard

  1. Dina

    Sadly, this post reminds me of me.

    I’m VERY social online.

    But in the real world….I can be pretty damn avoidant.

    I’ll see people I know and my gut reaction is to hide or pretend not to see them. UNLESS it’s someone that I am close to. But if it’s going to lead to a small-talk situation….

    Reply
  2. mooiness Post author

    Dina: well if this is as common as it seems to be, I guess we shouldn’t be sad about it. It’s human nature! Hah!

    nadnut: I think the more acquaintances we have, or the more our social circles overlap, the more people we want to avoid.

    Andrew: but of course! with pretty girls, it’s not small talk but opportunities. Hahah!

    blur ting: oh yeah – cannot take a hint!

    Jamie: that’s a cool picture. Someone should draw that up. Heh.

    Reply
  3. mf

    I put on a very serious face (esp. in the gym) cos I dun like to do small talks, and tat puts pple off hehe.
    Very bad, I know 😛

    Now tat I made some frens in the gym, they told me I had a very unfriendly face last time. 😛

    Reply
  4. btx

    i have been in this attitude mode for years anti social or whatever they call it are being true to yourself sometimes..no ones like to fake it ! or maybee yeah some do !

    Reply
  5. suzie

    haha that is so much like me too. i hate seeing ppl you know on public transport especially monday morning when you don’t feel like talking to anyone at all.

    Reply
  6. nat

    Agree with this 100%.

    I suggest a public awareness campaign with the message “If you are on public transport and vaguely recognise someone the best thing is to smile, maybe even say hi, then walk on. There is no need for uncomfortable small talk if you have nothing to talk about”.

    I assume you always travel with a book and something to listen to (good deterrants to an extent).

    Reply
  7. Pingback: *~ nadelicious till de very last drop! ~* » nadnut feels like an antisocial bastard (at times) too.

  8. mooiness Post author

    Rachel: hehe I completely understand how you feel. Having to show a nice PR front is very tiring. And sometimes you have to be selfish and ask yourself, “Is this really worth the effort?” 😀

    Reply

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