The single guy goes through this sometimes and that is, seeing the girl of his dreams (at the time) on the arms of another guy. He always assume that had he been at the right place at the right time, the girl and him would be together now. Instead, she’s with him.
Typically these things go through his head simultaneously:
- Envy – “Lucky bastard.”
- Jealousy – “She should be with me instead. What’s so good about him?”
- Depression – “How come I never get to meet someone like that, and who is also available?”
- Self-doubt – “Is there something wrong with me?”
- Acceptance – “You know what, he’s actually a decent guy. He deserves her. Maybe I can learn from him.”
The first four are inevitable but as it happens to you more often, you get over them pretty quickly to get to #5. Granted some guys never get to #5. Instead, once they get over their self-doubt with the help of their ego and an inflated sense of self worth, they choose to dwell on the negative items instead, especially envy and jealousy.
It gets to a point where they built up resentment and hatred towards two people who have never done anything intentionally to deserve it.
Not I. No doubt that it has taken me time and some painful experiences to reach a level of maturity and mental calmness to decide upon this but I choose to learn and accept, and to move on. It takes less energy and effort, plus it’s a better place for a person to be. Life is really too short to dwell on being miserable.