Would you share your lover?

November 5, 2009 4:28 PM

I wrote in the previous post that if there wasn’t any emotional maintenance involved in my past relationships, then they might have lasted longer due to the person that I am. Which prompted this question: does that mean I’m perfectly ok with sharing my lover?

Let me explain the idea. Right or wrong, at this point in time I can’t see myself putting up with the idiosyncrasies of a relationship. My physical needs haven’t quite trumped my need for an emotionally carefree existence just yet. So if my girlfriend is not exclusive to me, that means the emotional maintenance part is shared with another person, which means it’s less for me to handle. And I thought, that’s a reasonable trade.

I’m not the jealous type. I also don’t believe there’s anything wrong with having multiple partners as long as everyone involved knows the full picture, and everyone is accorded mutual respect. I feel that the arrangement can be beneficial to the person who shares their lover, and also to the lover who has multiple partners.

The one who shares has an easier time whether it’s physically or emotionally, while the person who has multiple partners can choose different people to fulfill different roles in their lives.

So yeah, I am ok with sharing my lover. But that is me. I don’t think my train of thought is shared by many. People generally still expect monogamy, or at least serial monogamy. And that loving and wanting more than one person at a time is not right. Though I think that what I’ve described is better than the lying, the cheating and ultimately the betrayal that comes with all kinds of affairs.

Monogamy – good for you if it’s easy for you and if you have it but why must that be the only right kind of relationship? :)

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