Long distance relationships were hard then, and they are hard now


November 13, 2009 4:27 PM

Prepaid phone cards
mr.beaver @ flickr

Back in my day, there were no email, no instant messaging, no web-cam, and no mobile phones, no SMS, and no cheap long-distance calling cards. Going into a long distance relationship was just asking for a difficult, expensive and sometimes very painful experience, no matter how much in love you thought you were at the time.

With a lot of time and space separating you, your mind can go into overdrive with guilt, suspicion, and worry. The lusting for each other can become a lusting for someone else closer and available. A relationship is enough work without the added distance and absence from each other’s lives. Small issues can become magnified and trivial matters can lead to the biggest arguments.

And pretty soon, calling each other starts to feel like work and obligation, and it leads to resentment.

Now that there is email, instant messaging, web-cam, mobile phones, SMS and cheap long-distance calling cards, is it any easier? Although I feel that modern technology may prolong the relationship, ultimately I don’t think it is any easier than it was before when there weren’t so many ways to communicate.

Nothing beats physical presence, and being able to read each other’s faces and body language clearly. Sex aside, I like to be able to touch and hold my girlfriend without having to wait for weeks and months, and even years. For this reason alone, I won’t ever consider going into a long-distance relationship no matter how much I like the girl.

I may have lost out on the greatest loves of my life because of this, but I may have also spared myself the agony of an LDR. Is it better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all? Hmm, easy for you to say if you haven’t experienced hurt before. Or you know, if you are a masochist. ;)

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