Back in my late teens and early 20s, when I lacked the emotional maturity that I have now *ahem* I had very little female friends. I had female class mates and friends of friends, and I would talk to them and all but I wouldn’t call them friends. We don’t hang out just as friends; if I did hang out with girls, chances are that I was secretly in like with them.
I couldn’t handle being friends with a girl that I like but who’d only think of me as a friend. And if I didn’t like a girl, I didn’t see the point of being friends. Which is why when the movie “When Harry Met Sally” came out, I absolutely loved it. It spoke to me. The lines in it about how “men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way” …
and this one was gold:
Harry Burns: Would you like to have dinner?… Just friends.
Sally Albright: I thought you didn’t believe men and women could be friends.
Harry Burns: When did I say that?
Sally Albright: On the ride to New York.
Harry Burns: No, no, no, I never said that… Yes, that’s right, they can’t be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can… This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted… That doesn’t work either, because what happens then is, the person you’re involved with can’t understand why you need to be friends with the person you’re just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say “No, no, no it’s not true, nothing is missing from the relationship,” the person you’re involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you’re just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let’s face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can’t be friends.
At the ripe old age of 34 (35 next month!), I’ve learnt a while ago that despite the subtle flirting and occasional sexual tension that exists, men and women can indeed be friends. Whether or not your partner allows you to maintain a close friendship with a member of the opposite sex remains a trickier proposition, and some handle it better than others.
But I can never be with someone who’s jealous and possessive anyway (I learnt that from my first relationship), not only because I love my female friends but also because no amount of free sex is worth it for the high level of maintenance that goes into being with a jealous woman.
Ok maybe 2 months tops. But that’s it.