Used to be there was only the mobile phone to make a fool of yourself with when you were drunk. Now, you’ve got Facebook too. When drunk, you really should not log into Facebook. But if you are already there, these are the things that you definitely do not want to do.
- Attempting to have what you may think is an intellectual and mind blowing conversation via a wall post or comment thread. Wall posts and comments are public. This will be what happens when you read it in the morning.
- Oversharing. TMI. STFU or GTFO.
- Posting a photo of your friend who is way more drunk than you are. Something like this. You will not be friends in the morning.
- Troll through the “People You May Know” list and adding the hot ones.
- And then messaging them “a/s/l? *smiley face*” – this ain’t IRC fool. Oh that was some sort of retro humour? Stop it. You are not funny.
- Adding an ex – she’s the one who dumped you. What makes you think she wants to be Facebook friends with you. And who would stay friends after a break up anyway? Stupid people that’s who.
- Message that hot girl you used to know in school with “So erm, you used to be hot. What happened?”
- Hover over the “Add Friend” button of that friend of a friend. You only met once, she didn’t think you were funny and she’s avoided eye contact ever since. She’s not gonna add you, no matter how awesome you think you are right now. Move that finger away from the mouse.
- Liking ONE person’s comments, photos and status updates all over the place. She’s not gonna think that you’re sweet. She’s gonna block you, you psycho stalker.
- See that a hot girl has changed her relationship status to “Single” and message with, “So hey you are available again huh? Wanna meet for drinks? *smiley face*”