Saying I’m single as I grow older

November 14, 2012 1:02 PM

When one’s single in their 20s, it’s not viewed as anything strange. Young people have busy and interesting lives, lots of different places to go and lots of different people to do and things to do them with. Not settling down with a human attachment and co-producing mini human attachments is not frowned upon. You’re young, you have time to settle down later but now is your time to play.

However, that same optimistic viewpoint and excuse that is allowed for one to be single in their youth does not apply when one gets older. What I mean is: other people would not let you be single when you are an older person. I’ve been to so many weddings where well-meaning people come up to me and say, “You’re next right? Don’t wait too long!” Or else what, I think? And what makes them think I’m waiting anyway? Waiting would imply that I’m looking which I’m not.

I’ve gone after women not because I have actively sought them out but because I’ve met them and have thought them interesting enough to make me want to take the next step. The past few years have all been misses though and it always feel sucky each and every time but I’m still ok and this is one big reason why: my happiness does not hinge on me finding a better half. My better half is in me already.

I find joy in many things, things that do not require me to be part of a 2-person unit. If I want to be smug about it, I would say that I find happiness in not having to consult with another person about where I’m going, whom I’m going out with and what time I’m coming home. Yes, some things are nicer when done as a couple but have you heard a couple argue over the logistics of whatever it is that they are planning to do?


I digressed a little. All I’m saying is, you found happiness in each other and that’s great but your kind of happiness is not the only kind available. I believe that all kinds of happiness are valid as long as we don’t hurt anyone.

Also, just because I choose to be single it does not mean that I’m weird, selfish or fussy. It’s not that I don’t have interest in women either. For the past few years I have often wondered if I was asexual or if I lack interest in sex. But I’ve concluded that I’m not. I perve, I watch porn and I fantasise about you, you and oh especially you. Heheh. And no mom, I’m not gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Though if I was gay, you know that I’d still get the same question too: so why aren’t you seeing anyone? *rage face* Murder death kill!

As for kids, I think you couples have got that under control right? Our species won’t die out just yet. Good job. Peace out. :mrgreen:


For further reading:

BBC News – Viewpoint: Why are couples so mean to single people?.

BBC News – Readers’ stories of being single.

One thought on “Saying I’m single as I grow older

  1. Pingback: The soulmate myth | Mooiness!

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