I’ve written a while back about how meaningless throwaway sex is kinda dull. Be it one night stands or paying for it from a prostitute, perfunctory sex can end up making you feel even more empty and lonely than when you were happily minding your own business. I’ve always felt that the best sexual experience comes (yes, pun) with some form of emotional intimacy. In other words, if you know the person well and have a long established connection, the sex will always feel better.
So, sex is enhanced by an emotional connection.
Isn’t it strange then that an emotional connection, like a deep friendship may not necessarily be enhanced by sex? You would think that adding sex to friendship would be like adding chocolate sprinkles to ice cream. But the reality is that most friendships are inevitably ruined by the introduction of sex. Friends-with-benefits situations mostly leads to one person wanting more out of it than the other. And once you’ve seen each other in the buff you can’t really go back to being just friends now, can you?
There are always exceptions to the rule of course. It is possible that you both have an attraction for each other that goes beyond mere friendship, and you’ve just been dancing around it all this time. Or that she/he finally wakes up to the fact that you two are good together as a couple. But don’t let the rom-coms mislead you into thinking that it is the norm. Going into a friendship expecting it to blossom into a sexual relationship is bound to lead to disappointment and heart ache, and plenty of awkwardness.
It is normal to think of your friends of the opposite sex in a sexual way (imagine what LBGT people go through!), but acting on it is fraught with difficulties. So the point is:
“Skip being friends — just date.”
If you still want to push your friendzone into the relationship-zone though, this article is good reading. 🙂