Category Archives: Eat Drink Man Woman

Dating and relationships, the single life, men and women, sex and sexuality

You are so beautiful ! Get away from me, you creep!

May 2, 2013 9:47 PM

Went to the moon, took 5 photos; went to the bathroom took 37 photos

I’ve been noticing a trend lately especially since Instagram came onto the scene and that is girls really like taking photos of themselves and then uploading them. And it’s predominantly a girl thing. I can say that because I follow guys on my Instagram and they don’t post any many pictures of themselves as the girls do. I don’t know about male celebrities *cough*selinalovessungkangtoomuch*cough but between regular guys and girls? The girls win.

Before the invention of the “like”, to be creepy takes effort. You have to leave enough comments like “OMG you are so beautiful!”, “Wow, marry me!”, or “No seriously. Marry me” before you creep someone out. Now with “like”, being creepy is effortless. It’s an impulsive and spontaneous thing. You see something you like? You “like” it. Tap-tap. Done! Omg she’s so hot.

Toilet selfie
Seriously though? What’s with all the toilet selfies?

The question then becomes: how many times can you like a girl’s selfies before it becomes creepy? I asked this question on my Facebook and I got only two answers. Thanks Facebook friends! My cousin JC says so long as she keeps posting them, one should keep liking them because that’s what they really want. Attention and lots of it. Which is kinda true.

Daniel Craig photobombs Taylor Swift
I like this x1000

And Selina says one does it until she blocks you. Which is a non-answer. Thanks Sel!

Selfie girl gets photobombed
(source: People of Walmart)

Wahahahah! Ok so back to the question. How many “likes” does a stalker make? To understand that, one needs to question why a girl uploads photos and photos of herself for everyone to see. It is to fish for compliments is it not? So it’d behoove us, the audience to clap and approve, right? So my answer is, it’s never too creepy to “like” if she likes people looking at her. 😛

I will leave you with a sub-genre of the selfie: the flexing selfie. Hey girls, never stop doing what you do. Ya-yer.

Fit girls flexing themselves in their selfies

(pictures are from all over the Internet)

Blind Actually

April 18, 2013 10:26 PM

Love, sex and friendship - a Venn diagram
(source: 9gag)

I once liked a crazy girl but it didn’t eventuate into anything because spoiler alert, she was crazy. My friends told me after that it was just as well that nothing came out of it because they knew right away that it wasn’t going to work out, and even if it did I would have hated myself for getting into it. That’s the thing about having a crush or being in love with someone, you develop tunnel vision and become fixated on what you like about the person and nothing else. There’s no balance and you are not objective about it.

Even if my friends had said something, I would have probably brushed it off. Even if I knew in the back of my head that what they were saying was true, I would have stuck it out anyway because “I wanted to find out for myself”.

On the other hand, a relationship that seem totally wrong to you can work for the people involved. Unless there’s blatant abuse in it, who are we to criticise what makes them happy? Some people like being in dysfunctional relationships and the excitement and variety that they bring. Some people like their relationships to be a roller-coaster ride. Sooner or later, they would want to get off the ride but until then they are thrilled and they are happy.

And there are people who choose looks, finances, status and stability over everything else, and they are happy for it. To boil it down even further, money works for women and looks work for men.

We are all different. We all find different ways to be happy and they are all very valid. 🙂

The brutal rejection is sometimes the better option

March 21, 2013 9:31 PM

Friend Zone, Level 150

In the game of courtship the potential for miscommunication and misunderstandings is high. There will be times when the girl doesn’t know a guy likes her that way and the guy can’t tell if she’s really into him or if she just enjoys his company, which will lead to the inevitable confession and question, “Do you feel the same way about me?” And unlike the movies, chances are that she really just enjoys his company and conversation and nothing else.

So now she has to reject him. If he had only been less clueless and realised early on that he won’t get into her pants anytime soon and not stuck his neck out like that. But here we are. To most girls’ credit, they will choose to use the soft rejection by saying “I hope we can still be friends”. Which sounds so much like bullshit because it is – once a guy wants to be more than just friends, he can’t go back to just being friends – but it is the nice way of letting someone down.

And praise be to the subset of the nice girls above, who after rejecting you nicely, can still manage to be around you and not be all awkward about it. I know these girls exist because I know such a girl. But you know what? Some guys cannot handle that and it is better to just yank that band-aid in one swift albeit painful motion, so to speak.

These same guys cannot be left in the friend zone thinking that they still have a shot. And with these same guys, it is probably best that you reject them in the most cold and blunt way possible. You cannot offer them a single sliver of hope because these are the ones who think persistence works even though we all know that it rarely does.

Luckily for the rest of us, even though we may sometimes think of our female friends in a sexual way (come on we’re guys, we are just wired like that) we wouldn’t give up the friendships that we have with our female friends because man, how dull would it be if all our friends were other dudes?! :mrgreen:

The soulmate myth

February 28, 2013 9:35 PM

Babies who look like they could be soulmates
(source: 9gag)

If you work in the service industry, you might have heard this phrase before:

Good, cheap or fast. Pick two.

Similarly when it comes to women: nice, pretty or smart. Pick two. Hahah! :mrgreen:

Before the ladies kill me, let me explain. If a girl grew up being pretty, chances are that she didn’t need that much smarts to get by in life. And if she’s smart as well, then it’s likely that she knows how to use her sexuality to have things her way, and so she wouldn’t have gained humility and therefore feel the need to be nice to others. The only one exception to the above generalisation is a women who is pretty can be nice and smart too but she would have had to not realise her charms until later in life. That is, she is one who had blossomed physically after she had developed the other two things first.

All of which is to say the term “soulmate” is not realistic because it implies perfection when life is not perfect. You will be the exception if she’s everything that you ever wanted. Even then she will be a mate yes, but not a soulmate because a compromise of some sort would have been made. A wise person told me that if the other person doesn’t repulse you physically, likes being around you and can handle your bullshit, then he or she is a keeper.

Me? I am mateless now but I’m ok with it. 🙂

Me and three women talk about cheating

January 7, 2013 1:06 PM

A guy holding another girl's hand behind his girlfriend's back

The conversation started innocently enough but somehow it veered into the topic of paying for sex (I have) and how I can understand some men cheat and depending on how he treats his current partner/wife and kids, it may be forgivable. Naturally, all three women disagreed with me. Heheh.

We established the fact that a man paying for sex is better than him keeping a mistress, purely because there is less emotional attachment when he visits a prostitute, but only just. Visiting a prostitute is still cheating which it is if you think in purely sexual terms. That got me asking the question “what if he’s doing that because he’s not getting the sexual satisfaction in the relationship”? Is that a good reason to have sex with someone else? Again, “no” was the answer.

Women need a reason. Men just need a place.

Billy Crystal

One point that my friends brought up was the fact that, prostitutes excluded, men can usually have sex without being emotionally involved. Even though I feel that it’s better when there’s emotions and feelings behind the act, there’s some truth in that statement. There is a reason why prostitution is one of the oldest professions on Earth – men have made sex a sellable commodity for a very long time.

That being said, to my female companions complaining that your wife/girlfriend is not freaky enough in bed IS NOT a good reason to visit a prostitute. If you are not sexually satisfied, that’s tough luck. Which I think is a bit unfair. And also, you can’t emotionally cheat either. No flirty texts and Facebook comments. Because you know, that’s cheating too. What’s left then? Porn. You have to let us have our porn right?! Don’t get me going on the whole “porn is cheating” thing too. Because it’s not. It just isn’t, ok?! :P

Anyway, so what’s the conclusion of this conversation? Men and women are different. Duh.

p.s. I love having conversations with women.

Love in a Puff

December 24, 2012 1:13 PM

Love In A Puff, with Miriam Yeung and Shawn Yue

I had caught bits of “Love in a Puff” on TV before but I never watched the full movie until recently. What prompted me to do so was because my friend Peggy said to me, “Since you like writing about men and women so much, you should really like this movie.” She was right and I really do. Unlike most romcoms, I thought this movie captures all the nuances and subtleties and the grey areas of what happens when two people like each other, in a very realistic way.

*spoilery bits to follow*

Stop reading now if you want to experience the movie unsullied by preconceptions like I did. ;)

In one scene, after parting ways because the girl’s boyfriend decided to come pick her up, the guy said that he will go home since he’s got work the next day. When the girl got home, she texts him asking him if he got home ok. He said that he’s still out. She replied by asking why is he staying out when he told her otherwise. He replied quite pointedly by saying “I’m single and I can do what I want.”

This is one topic that is a favourite of mine to discuss. I have only written about it once but I can assure you that it has happened more than once. And that is your female friend who is attached gets annoyed or jealous if you don’t involve her or if you are out with other girls. And I always respond like what the guy in the movie did.

Also from the same part in the movie, the girl only mentions that she has a boyfriend after they have spent the night exchanging flirty texts and then meeting up, and generally having a very OK time. Truly a sucky moment, and I too have experienced this.

Shawn Yue and Miriam Yeung in

So we’ve established that she’s not available when they met and when they ended up liking each other. The grey area and moral dilemma for the guy is how should he approach it? Like the male protagonist in the movie, I would initially hang back and try not to instigate anything more after I’d learnt the fact. Having said that though, I would also be like the guy in the movie whereby if the girl makes the move, I won’t have any qualms about accepting her advances.

Even if I was capable of it which I’m not, I’d have a problem with stealing someone’s girlfriend. Karma and all that. But having her making herself available to me would ease the burden on my conscience because obviously, there’s something wrong in her relationship already. This is one thing that I’ve never experienced so all of this is pure conjecture. I might not be the good guy. Who knows.

But just like the story in the movie, nothing in life is black and white. It’s all a muddle of greyness and we do our best wading through it. :)

Saying I’m single as I grow older

November 14, 2012 1:02 PM

When one’s single in their 20s, it’s not viewed as anything strange. Young people have busy and interesting lives, lots of different places to go and lots of different people to do and things to do them with. Not settling down with a human attachment and co-producing mini human attachments is not frowned upon. You’re young, you have time to settle down later but now is your time to play.

However, that same optimistic viewpoint and excuse that is allowed for one to be single in their youth does not apply when one gets older. What I mean is: other people would not let you be single when you are an older person. I’ve been to so many weddings where well-meaning people come up to me and say, “You’re next right? Don’t wait too long!” Or else what, I think? And what makes them think I’m waiting anyway? Waiting would imply that I’m looking which I’m not.

I’ve gone after women not because I have actively sought them out but because I’ve met them and have thought them interesting enough to make me want to take the next step. The past few years have all been misses though and it always feel sucky each and every time but I’m still ok and this is one big reason why: my happiness does not hinge on me finding a better half. My better half is in me already.

I find joy in many things, things that do not require me to be part of a 2-person unit. If I want to be smug about it, I would say that I find happiness in not having to consult with another person about where I’m going, whom I’m going out with and what time I’m coming home. Yes, some things are nicer when done as a couple but have you heard a couple argue over the logistics of whatever it is that they are planning to do?


I digressed a little. All I’m saying is, you found happiness in each other and that’s great but your kind of happiness is not the only kind available. I believe that all kinds of happiness are valid as long as we don’t hurt anyone.

Also, just because I choose to be single it does not mean that I’m weird, selfish or fussy. It’s not that I don’t have interest in women either. For the past few years I have often wondered if I was asexual or if I lack interest in sex. But I’ve concluded that I’m not. I perve, I watch porn and I fantasise about you, you and oh especially you. Heheh. And no mom, I’m not gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Though if I was gay, you know that I’d still get the same question too: so why aren’t you seeing anyone? *rage face* Murder death kill!

As for kids, I think you couples have got that under control right? Our species won’t die out just yet. Good job. Peace out. :mrgreen:


For further reading:

BBC News – Viewpoint: Why are couples so mean to single people?.

BBC News – Readers’ stories of being single.